Sensible Sin
by Misha1088
Summary: Cordelia's dating an actor and it's quite serious. He's in a show and she's guest staring. She has everything she wants. But she's not happy and Angel knows it. One night of shoulder crying turns into a steamy affair.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Sensible Sin  
><strong>Author: <strong>Misha  
><strong>Posted: <strong>11-25-2003  
><strong>Email: <strong>  
><strong>Rating: <strong>NC-17  
><strong>Category: <strong>Smut  
><strong>Content: <strong>Cordy/Other Romance, Angel/Cordy friendship, romance, angst. AI friendship, G/F, W/Fa.  
><strong>Summary: <strong>Cordelia's dating an actor and it's quite serious. He's in a show and she's guest staring. She has everything she wants. But she's not happy and Angel knows it. One night of shoulder crying turns into a steamy affair.  
><strong>Spoilers: <strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.  
><strong>Distribution: <strong>  
><strong>Notes: <strong>Let me start of by saying I got this idea while watching Unfaithful. Richard Gere is incredible! Any way, Wesley is once again in with the group and, surprise, surprise, he's with Faith(Cuz hello sexual tension!) The Angel drama never happened. Conner caught Justine killing Holtz and was explained why, so Angel and him are extremely close. Cordelia went to higher plane, but came back during the summer. Her and Angel just put everything behind them.  
><strong>Feedback: <strong>Please? Good or bad! Just some! Let me know how I'm doing people!  
><strong>ThanksDedication: **

**Part 1**

"I gave you two children, Bill, and you leave me for a man? No, don't speak, don't say anything-what is there to say? You said it all...WITH HIM!" Her big eyes are full of tears, almost ready to fall from her face. "I gave you two children, Bill...two children, I gave you two children." Cordelia looks at Angel, who's sitting on the couch in the lobby watching her intently, along with Gunn and Wes. "Then Bill has his lines, blah blah blah blah, and then it's me again!" She goes back into her acting mode. "You DARE say that to me? Oh!" She smacks the coatrack that is "Bill", knocking a coat to the ground. "Oops." She picks it up and looks at them. "What do you think?"

"Definately made it your own part." Wesley commented.

"Great job Barbie. But what are you freakin out about? I mean, your honey's the main character. He wants you there, you're there."

"I don't want the part because my boyfriend's in the show. Although, hello! I have a boyfriend in show buisness! But that's not the point. I want the part because I deserve it." Turning to the silent vampire. "Angel?" She walked over to his stoic figure, sitting next to him. "What did you think?"

"Oh, what?" Her eyes widened, mouth dropping slightly and she smacked him hard on the arm. "Ow!"

"I did all that work and you weren't even paying attention? Last time I ever ask you for your opinion!" She pouted and smacked him again, making him laugh.

"Cordy, I'm playing. I watched every second."

"What'd you think?" He looked at her, face stern, and she frowned.

"If they don't give you the part, they're insane." With a screech of happiness that made Angel's ears ache, she wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"You mean it Angel? Am I really that good?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it Cor."

"And you actually said it this time." Her smile seemed to illuminate the entire room. A room that turned dark very quickly when Cordelia's actor of a boyfriend, Jason Marlaney came in. He was about five foot eleven and Angel noticed that quickly, taking every opportunity to show he was taller than him. He had a light brown, almost blonde hair, green eyes and a smile that was too straight and too white. It annoyed Angel to no extent.

"Jason!" Cordelia hopped off the couch, running to him and wrapping her arms around him the way she had around Angel. Except, Jason was granted with a sweet kiss that Angel was deprived off.

"You ready babe?"

"Yeah. Just a sec." She grabbed her purse and went to the guys, giving each one a hug and a peck on the cheek. She walked next to him, letting his arm wrap around her as they walked out into the bright Los Angeles day. Angel hid his jealousy. Six months. They had been dating for _six_ months. You'd think she would break up with him after a while, but no! Here they were, closer than ever and it tore him up inside. His jealousy was quickly thrown out the window though when Conner walked in. It was really amazing how clsoe they were when you considered everything that happened. He had to put away those emotions, because Conner could sense them. And that would lead to questions he didn't want to answer at the moment.

"Hey Dad." He threw the backpack on the counter and came and sat on one of the chairs.

"Hey Conner." He studies his father.

"Moping over Cordelia?" Angel looked around, not seeing Gunn or Wes. They must've left when he was in his thoughts. Although he didn't know he was out of it for that long. Maybe Faith anf Fred had returned from the mall and they had taken off.

"What? Pfft, no. Why would I be moping over Cordelia?"

"Because I just saw her leave with her boyfriend."

"Oh."

"Saw Wes and Faith too. Said they were heading to his place. Enough said there, right?" Angel smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. Don't need to go into detail." Both their faces straightened. "Just got home from school and you're alreadey eager to get your ass beat?"

"I so almost had you last time."

"Right. I went easy on you. You are my son, after all." They argued as they walked down into the basement.

"Okay. But that's what you said before when I broke your nose too."

"No no no no no. That was because I wasn't ready. You caught me off guard."

"I thought you're always supposed to be on guard Dad." Angel smiled at his son as they picked up the swords in the basement.

"You're learning fast. You get that from me, you know?"

"Anyways..." They drew their swords, meeting in the center. With a smile from each, Angel showed Conner one of the many reasons he had survived for over two hundred years.

**Part 2**

Cordelia paced back and forth in her apartment nervous, anxious, excited and afraid. So many emotions ran through her. She had done good, she knew she had. But did _they_ know that? Would they see it?

"Honey? Can you sit down? You're making me dizzy." She turned and looked at Jason.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I can't sit down! Because if I sit down, that gives me time to think and I really don't want to think that much right now!"

"You've got the part Babe. Trust me." Her eyes narrowed on him.

"How do you know?"

"Because you're incredible." He said, slightly stumbling ove rhis words.

"Jason, I appreciate your connections and getting me the interview, I really do. But I want to be know as Cordelia Chase, Actress! Not, Cordelia Chase, girlfriend of an actor. Or, Cordelia Chase, got part because boyfriend's the main character. I want my own name for myself, do you understand that?"

"Of course I do. I just, I want to help you a long a bit." She turned away from him and frowned.

"You don't think I can get there on my own?"

"Yes I do. I know you can."

"Then let me do it. Don't use your position to get me in. I want to do it myself."

"Okay." He gave her a smile and she returned a small one. It quickly disappeared as she clutched her hands to her head, letting out a scream of pain and falling to the floor. A startled Jason ran to her, trying to calm her down. He had never seen her actually have a vision though she had told him about them. She squeezed her eyes closed as the vision subsided.

"Angel?" Jason frowned and she realized she had called for Angel. She made up for it quickly though. "Can you hand me the phone honey? I have to call Angel and tell him about the vision." He nodded and got up, not seeing the phone where it was supposed to be.

"Where is it?"

"Dennis!" She called out and the phone came floating to her, hitting Jason's head slightly in the process. "Dennis. Behave. And thank you. Press one on the speed dial for me?" It was done and Jason frowned. Why wasn't his number the first on speed dial?

"I'm never going to get used to that ghost."

"Shh! Don't call him that. He prefers phantom." The phone rang four times and she was about to hang up when he answered.

"Hello?"

"Why'd it take you so long to answer your phone?"

"Cordy?"

"Yeah! Why'd it take you so long to answer your cell phone? I know you can work it now. This is an emergency."

"I was in the shower." The mental picture of a naked Angel, watter flowing over his body and dripping from different areas made Cordelia twitch slightly, face crimson. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Are you decent?"

"What?"

"Are you decent? Do you have clothes on?" Angel looked down at the towel around his waist. A part of Cordelia hoped he would say no.

"Yeah. Why, you need me to come over? Are you sure you're okay?"

"Angel, I'm fine. You do need to go now though. That park on Olympic."

"Not the best park to be at on a Friday night."

"Exactly. Um, a couple. They're at the part, taking a walk or something. Vampire. Pretty big. Looks strong too."

"I need back up? Because Conner's been bugging me. He's ancey. Needs to hit something."

"You can take him. But be careful."

"All right. Just sit down and relax. I'm sending Fred and Gunn over."

"Angel, you don't-" He already disconnected the line. She turned to her boyfriend who was giving her a curious look. He was not good at hiding his jealousy. She didn't want to deal with that right now though. Her head felt like it would explode. A cup of water and a bottle of asprin floated to her. "Thanks Dennis." She patted the seat next to her and Jason sat there. She leaned her head against him, dozing off slightly. She wondered why she was picturing Angel there instead of him though.

The knock on her door startled her to reality. She opened her eyes and moved off Jason so he could open the door. His face was stiff when he saw Fred and Gunn there. They barged in past him and went to Cordelia.

"Cordy! Are you okay? Angel told us to come over because he said you sounded like you were in pain and he wanted us to make sure you weere okay. Are you? You're not al boil-y again are ya? Cuz he wanted to come, but said u wouldn't let him and-"

"Breathe Fred." Gunn looked over Cordy. "You sure you're all right?"

"Besides a rug burn and vision pain, I'm good."

"Word." They looked at Fred and Gunn just shook his head. Then Cordelia eyed Gunn.

"Baby. I've told you before. You can't say those words." She frowned then sat next to Cordelia with a pout on her lips. "You sure you're cool Cordy?"

"Yup. Positive. I'm taken care of here guys, don't worry."

"Well, we know that. But you know damn well Angel's gonna be here right after he gets back. Along with Junior over there."

"Conner went with him after all?"

"You kidding? A chance to beat something up? He was out before Angel had his coat on." Cordy laughed.

"I'm just glad they're finally getting along. You know, not trying to kill each other." The television flipped on and Denis found them a movie to watch. They sat around the living room, Jason included and watched a movie. Except he wasn't sitting next to Cordy anymore, he was on a couch. It seemed like everytime she got around her friends, he was pushed aside. Especially if it involved a certain brown eyed vampire. He shook his head. He was worrying too much.

**Part 3**

Unlike Fred and Gunn, Angel didn't knock. He turned the knob slowly and pushed the door open. Dennis shut it behind him and Angel smiled when he saw Cordelia asleep on the couch, the credits of some movie playing on the television set.

"Angel?" He froze, stunned. She looked at him, eyes wide and shining.

"Hey." He walked over and sat next to her. She immediately rested her head agaisnt him and he tensed at the contact, relaxing as she snuggled closer. It felt so perfect. "I thought you were asleep."

"Nah. Just watching this movie."

"Cor, it's over."

"Oh. Ha! I must've dozed off after all." He stared at her, seeing her slightly puffy eyes. His frown was deep, his brow furrowing. "What's wrong?" He let out a sigh.

"You tell me." She looked up at him, then back at the tv.

"Angel, I'm fine. Really."

"You're a horrible liar Cordy." She glared at him. He knew he was pushing it, but what the hell? She didn't want him any way. And he was worried about her, after all.

"I am not." She pouted and he tried to hide his smile. But damn, she was so cute. "I just...I took some pills for the pain and I'm a little drowzy. The vision shook me up, that's all."

"I asked you if you were okay. If you wanted me to come over-"

"Angel. Someone was going to die. You kind of had other obligations. I had Jason here and Dennis of course." His body went tense again at the mention of the other man's name. Except, he didn't relax this time. "Besides, you sent Gunn and Fred over so...I was kept company."

"Where are they any way?"

"I told them to go home. I was feeling fine."

"Well, maybe you are getting better at the lying thing."

"It wasn't lying. It was acting. _Acting_ like I was feeling better."

"Cordy-"

"I know, I know." There was a moment of silence and they both stared at the tv, another movie starting. "Angel?"

"Mmmm hmmm?"

"Um, do you think that maybe you could, you know? Kind of stay with me tonight?" He looked at her, concerned. "I just, I don't feel very well. I'm still kind of shaken up. That vision just kind of freaked me out. It was so vivid, so real, like it was me. I felt more than just their pain...it was horrible. I felt the pleasure the demon was feeling when he killed them. I just don't want to be alone right now." His body relaxed again finally, and he wrapped an arm around her tightly.

"Let me just call the guys and tell them to go home, all right?" She nodded as the phone came to Angel and he dialed the number.

"Angel Investigations...um, what do you want?"

"Conner."

"Dad! Oh, um. I, I didn't know it was you."

"Obviously. That'll definately bring in the clients. Don't answer the phone no more." He said, jokingly.

"Okay. Where are you?"

"I'm at Cordy's."

"Oh, reeeeally?"

"Mind out of the gutter please? Tell Wes and Faith they can head home."

"How'd you know they were back?"

"Instinct I guess. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Staying the night, huh? Someone's gonna get-"

"You say it and you're dead. Cordy isn't feeling well. I'm going to keep her company."

"All right. See ya tomorrow. Night Dad."

"Night Son." He turned back to Cordy who was smiling sweetly at him and who took him as her pillow once again. This time, he didn't wait to wrap his arm around her again. Even though she just wanted him there for comfort, he was happy to be the one to make her feel better.

**Part 4**

Angel startled awake at the sound of Cordelia screaming. His body was alert, even in sleep and he hopped to his feet. A look of confusion came upon him as he stared at the woman before him, still in a pair of pajama pants and a tank top, a bright smile on her face. She was talking to someone on the phone.

"No, no, I'm here. It's just, this is so amazing! I knew I should _have_ the part, but I never thought I would get it! Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! Yes, yes! Of course! Tomorrow? Seven o'clock? Morning? Good, because I am not a morning person! You neither? All right. Thanks again, really! Bye." She hung up and turned to Angel. He winced with a smirk, one eye closing as she screamed again and ran to him. "Angel! I got the part! I got it! Me! Cordelia Chase! I'm going to be on a tv show!" His smile grew as large as hers as she wrapped her arms around him, bouncing up and down. He joined with a couple hops of his own.

"Congratulations Cordy."

"Thank you Angel. I just, I can't believe it."

"I told you you'd get the part."

"I know. Who knew you would've been right."

"Hey!" She smiled, still hugging him. Then she pulled away, eyes wide.

"I still gotta tell Fred and Conner and Gunn and Wes and Lorne and Faith! Oh my God! Wait 'til the Sunnydale crew sees me. They doubted me Angel. Said I couldn't do it. Now I can rub their noses in it. I think I'm going to call Willow tonight." Angel raised an eyebrow at her and her smile only got bigger, if that was even possible. "We need to celebrate! Go out, all of us. Have a good time. Yeah?"

"Anything you want Cordy. It's your day."

"Really?"

"Yup. Hell, I'll even pay."

"You're so sweet Angel. It'll be perfect. We'll all have such a great time." Realization dawned on Cordelia. "I have to call Jason! He needs to hear this!" Angel felt his heart split in two. God, for a two hundred and some year old vampire, he was pretty damn naive. Or, stupid actually. Stupid was definately the word. And he felt it too. Cordy didn't even notice the hurt that passed through his eyes. It quickly faded though. He walked into her room, taking out some clothes he had left there before. She had clothes at his place and he had clothes here. He walked into the bathroom, shut the door and turned on the water. He adjusted the knobs until it was steaming hot, stripped, and stepped into the scalding spray. "Baby!" Cordelia screeched into the phone. "Baby! I got the part! Yeah, I know you told me I would. But still. Isn't this amazing? We're going out tonight! Everyone! You, me, Conner, Angel- Yes, Angel. He's my best friend, of course he's coming with us. Damn right it's my celebration. Look, I don't want to fight with you. It's my thing...yes. Yes." She let out a soft laugh. "I know. You have nothing to worry about. It's just...it's a friendship. Yeah. That, that's it." She sounded dissappointed, but he told himself he was imagining it. "Yeah. I love you too." There wasn't much emotion behind, not much sincerity. But he let it go. They hung up and Cordelia heard the shower spraying in her bathroom. She didn't know why she was doing it, but she inched the door open slowly. Steam flew out, heat hitting her in the face and nearly making her cough. She let her eyes focus, body turning to jelly, heat rising inside her. He wasn't completely clear, but enough to make her heart skip a beat when she saw his naked form through the blurry shower wall. She knew she was staring, she needed to leave but she couldn't move her feet. They seemed to be stuck to the tile. She saw him stop moving and her breath caught. She moved as fast as she could, careful not to slam the door.

Angel opened the shower door and stepped out. He could've sworn Cordelia was in there. He could feel her prescense. But the fact that she wasn't standing there proved otherwise. He shook his head. If only she felt the same. If only it was even possible, he would tell her. Could tell her how much he cared about her. How much he loved her, wanted her. He frowned, looking into the mirror. When it came to Cordelia, she could really make him feel invisble. Like he really wasn't there. At the same time she could make him feel like he was only man on earth. _Stop dreaming. She's your friend. That's all. That's all you two can ever be._ He was suddenly happy he had no reflexion, because he figured he would look pretty old, Lord knew he felt it. _At least you have that. Right?_

Cordelia paced back in forth in the small area in front of her coffee table. God, he had looked good. Really good. Lickabley good. She stopped. _What am I saying? Er, thinking? This is Angel. Eunuch boy. No bone._ She wondered..._If he was boneable, would you? Hell yeah! I mean, hello! Hottness! No! No, no, no! Bad thoughts! If only that stupid steam hadn't been there..._ The phone rang and she jumped, letting out a startled scream.

"Hello? Oh, Jason. Yeah, I'm fine. The phone just, it scared me. I was, uh, dozing." Angel walked out of the bathroom, steam flowing out like a train of smoke. He say Cordelia still on the phone, making him realize that it couldn't have been her in the bathroom. She was _still_ on the phone with Jason. He turned on the tv, really paying attention to the conversation. "You did? You are beyond sweet, you know that?" Angel made a fake gagging noise wihtout Cordelia's knowledge, knowing Dennis couldn't really respond. "that's perfect timing too. Of course. I'll tell the gang. Yeah. I know, I love you too." Angel frowned at her words, heart shattering. The look of pain on his face impossible to hide. She got off the phone and sat next to him, the emotion on his face hidden, but still there. She noticed something in his eyes, but couldn't make it out. "Guess what!" He didn't respond, just looked at her. "I'm having a party here tomorrow. Jason's taking care of all the charges, so I don't have to worry about taking anything out of my own pocket. I have to tell everyone. You'll be there, right Angel?" She was doing it again. Making him feel like he was actually important. Like he wasn't invisible.

"I don't know Cordy."

"Angel..." She whined.

"I just, I'm not good with people. You know I'm not a social person."

"Sure you are. You're talking to me. See? Social."

"But that's different. I know you. You're my best friend."

"Yup! Best friend's go to their friend's parties." He raised an eyebrow at her. She leaned over, hand on his knee. "Please Angel? What's the point of having a party if the most important people aren't there?"

"I don't know."

"You can, you can sit in the kitchen the whole time and drink beer with Dennis. But, of course, you have to save me one dance." Before he could protest. "A slow one. Deal?" He smiled at her.

"Deal. I'll be here." She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him and placed a kiss on his lower cheek. It was a little too close to his lips though and they both just sat there. She moved closer to him, hand moving to his thigh, other tracing his bottomw lip. Angel couldn't move. "Cordy."

"Shh. Angel. Don't say...anything." She pressed her lips to his, hand clutching his shirt. He kissed her, reveling. His hand went to the small of her back, pressing her to him. That was when reality struck and she tore her lips from his, eyes wide. Standing up, her body was shaking. "Angel, I. I'm sorry." She ran into her room, locking the door. Angel sighed shakily, sinking into the couch. He closed his eyes, too many emotions running through him. He knew it was too damn good to be ture. He sat there brooding, waiting impatiently for sunset.

**Part 5**

As soon as the sun set, Angel was gone, making his way to the hotel. Cordelia stayed in her room, working the guts up to go out there. To be able to face him. She gathered her courage and walked out.

"Ang...el?" It turned to a question when she didn't see him. She looked around the apartment, not seeing him anywhere. She sat on her couch, his scent still lingering there. Inhaling, she sunk into it like he had done. She had really screwed up, and she knew it. After a few minutes of sulking, she got up and headed out to work. She was, after all, a little late. She got there and noticed how quiet the place was. She looked around, saw the solumn looks on everyone's faces. "Where's Angel?" She asked anyone who would answer. Conner looked at her, eyes confused. "Oh my God. Is he okay?"

"You tell me." Conner said. She was startled by his voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know what's wrong with him." He snipped, polishing his favorite ax. "Came in, told us all good morning, then went up to his room. No other words. Looked kind of down. He didn't lose a fight did he? That's _never_ good." Cordelia shook her head.

"No. He's just tired. I had a rough night. Oooh! But guess what guys!" They all looked at her. "We're all going out tonight to celebrate because Miss Chase," se said pointing to herself, "is officially, an actress!" Fred screamed, jumping up and down and hugging Cordelia, who bounced up and down with her.

"That's so wonderful Cordy!"

"Way to go Cor." Faith said.

"It was in the bag Barbie, I told you."

"You were exceptional the other day, we knew you had it."

"Yeah. Great job Cordy." Conner added after Gunn and Wesley.

"I'm so happy you guys. We're all going out tonight and then I'm having a party at my place tomorrow and you all gotta be there because what's a party without my best friends, huh?"

"And we're gonna party, party." Faith said, looking at Wesley. "I just got to teach him to dance." They laughed, and started talking about the party tomorrow. She swallowed and walked upstairs, standing in front of Angel's door for what seemed like ages. She turned the knob and entered, mouth wide as she stared at Angel who was dressed only in his boxers.

"Angel?" He turned to her, surprised and pulled a pair of pants on in what seemed like a second. He gave her a sheepish smile and she returned it with a chuckle. "What are you doing?" The memories of the kiss seemed to evaporate for the time being.

"I don't know what to wear to our pre-celebration thing tonight. Where are we going?" He asked, going through his closet.

"I don't know."

"Well, it's your thing Cor. You pick, I pay."

"You don't have to-"

"Of course. Remember? Inevitable fame?" She laughed.

"Yes. I also remember a certain promise I made to you." She laughed. "And look. Here we are." He sat down on his bed and she sat next to him. That's when the awkwardness came floating back.

"You better go home and get dressed. We have a nice little restaraunt waiting for us."

"I thought you didn't know where we were going."

"Well, I had a guess. Now go on. I have to finish getting ready and, knowing how long it takes you, if you're here anymore we'll miss our reservations."

"Shut up." She smacked his bare arm playfully, noticing the muscles. His arms could make anyone feel safe. She was about to leave when he spoke.

"Cordy?"

"Yeah?" He looked at her, face suddenly seeming different. His mood wasn't loose anymore. He seemed worried, concerned and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Are you happy?" She looked startled as she stared at him. She put on a fake smile.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Are you sure though?" She bit her lip and nodded. "All right. I'm sorry, I just. I'm looking out for you, you know?"

"I know." Another silence.

"Then why did you kiss me?"

"What?"

"It just kind of seemed like you were looking for a way out or something."

"No. It's just, well, you have really temtping lips Angel." She said, nodding after her statement. He raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was caught up in the moment. And you have totally kissable lips Angel. It's hard to resist." She said jokingly with a smile. He shook his head and returned it. "You're just so irresistable like that, you know?"

"Oh yeah. I'm just so hot, huh?"

"You know it. I got to go. Getting ready, plus me, you know how that works."

"I do."

"Bye Angel." She went to place a kiss on his cheek, but stopped and just gave him a hug. "Thanks for being concerned though."

"That's my job. We're partners, remember?" She nodded and got up, walking out, moving down to the lobby. "Get ready guys. We're going to a nice place for dinner and Angel's picking up the check." They all stared at her. "No, really. He is."

"I didn't know hell froze over." Conner said with a smirk. She smiled at him.

"Get ready. No jeans Conner. I have to go. I'll see you guys soon." With that, she left. Her home seamed quiet and wrong without him there. She walked in to her room, letting Dennis switch the light on. She gave a shout when she was grabbed from behind. With an elbow to the offender's ribs, and a twist of his arm she was facing him. Her eyes widened. "Honey! I'm sorry!" Jason let out a cough, gasping at air. She smiled slightly, the situation becoming kind of funny.

"What was that about?" He choked.

"Oh my God. I didn't know it was you. I'm kind of jumpy, that's all."

"Okay. And I'm kind of in pain."

"I'm so, so sorry." She said, trying to hide the smile on her face. He looked up at her and returned it.

"Right. That's why you're laughing on me. I tell you though, I feel sorry for any one who comes up against that." He said, flopping on the couch. She sat next to him, giving him a small kiss. The only thing in her mind though was the steamy kiss she had shared with Angel there only hours ago. How good his lips had felt. She let out a soft laugh when she realized what she had said to him. _You're lips are just so tempting? Talk about grasping for an excuse. That could've just made things worse. But his lips really are tempting._ She shook those thoughts away. Her boyriend was here and she had just nearly kicked his ass.

"I'm really sorry. I have to get ready. We're going out, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Listen, baby." She frowned, knowing what was coming. "Can we just stay in? I'm kind of beat."

"No way! I'm going out to celebrate. And Angel's paying. You have any idea how rare that is?"

"Not really." Nor did he care.

"His catch phrase is 'I'm not cheap, I'm just old,' okay? This will never happen again. I want to go have a good time with my friends."

"You can do that tomorrow at the party. Maybe you and I could stay in and have a good time together?" He asked with a smirk, finger playing with the hem of her shirt. She pulled away.

"We have so had this conversation before."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just really don't want to go out with the 'gang' tonight." She looked at him angrily, not liking the way he was refering to her friends.

"Fine. You can stay home then. I'm going with my friends. That's all there is to it."

"Cordelia-"

"No. You're not going to ruin this night. I want you to come with me. But whether you do or not, I'm going. We're all meeting at the hotel in an hour. I really want you to be there. But if you''re not, you're not." She went into her room and shut the door. He sighed and stood up, walking over to the door. He could get ready in an hour. Besides, he wasn't the one paying this time.

**Part 6**

The Next Night

Angel sorted through his closet frantically. He wasn't sure why he was getting so worked up. It was just a party, right? He took a the dark gray sweater he was going to wear, shook his head and put it back in the closet. He didn't know how people dressed to go to parties these days. Back in the day, everyone came dressed to impress. Ties, slacks, the whole nine. These days, that was beyond over dressed. He groaned, scowling at the clothes in his closet. He had on a pair of black pants, as always, but what shirt was he going to wear?

"Please Angel. Try some color tonight." Cordelia's words had floated through his mind.

"Fine." He said to himself and pulled out a pair of khakis that she had bought him, changing. He continued to stare at the closet. "A little black won't hurt, right?" He asked.

"I don't think so." Conner said as he entered. Angel looked at him and shook his head. "What?"

"She said no jeans."

"She also said no black."

"Good point." He looked his son over. "Can you at least wear the ones without holes in them?"

"Fine." He whined and went back into his room to change, draging his feet as he went. Angel pulled out the black velvet shirt he hadn't worn it what seemed like a century, slipped it on, and put on a pair of his black shoes. A reflection could do a lot of good right now. "Better?" Conner asked with a frown. Angel chuckled.

"Yes. You know, that's why I buy you new clothes. So you can wear them."

"Yeah. I know."

"So, what do you think?"

"You look sharp. You know? For an old guy."

"Watch it." Conner laughed and Angel ran his hand through his son's hair, messing it up intentionally.

"Hey! Now I have to fix it. I don't want it sticking up like yours."

"You should be so lucky." Conner left and Angel looked himself over as best he could. He looked good. Now he just needed his coat. The two of them walked outside and into the car.

"Can I drive?"

"Not a chance." Angel said with a laugh as they jumped in the convertible.

"Fine." Angel reved up the engine and they took off. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"You know we're running like an three hours late, right? You take way too long to get ready."

"It's only..." He looked at his watch. Damn. They were running really late. "It's not just 'running late.' We're what you call, fashinoabley late."

"Oh. Okay. People fashionabley late are usually three hours late?"

"Uh, yes. Always. I'll explain later." He said, pulling up to the apartment. Why walk when you can drive? Conner got out and was half way to the door when he stopped and noticed Angel wasn't behind him.

"What's wrong? Or are we still not late enough?"

"No. We are."

"Then?" He looked up at Conner who frowned and got back in. "She'd kill you if she knew you were out here brooding when her party was going on, you know that right?" Angel glared at his son and shook his head with a smirk.

"You're right."

"Well duh. Now come on. I'm missing a date for this." Conner said, getting out, Angel following.

"You had a date."

"Please. Like I can look like this and _not_ get a date."

"You are so my son, you know that?"

"Yup." They walked in and Conner immediately scanned around, noticing some very intriguing young women. "Now, if you'll excuse me Dad. There are some young ladies there in need of my company."

"Always the player. Enjoy your youth son, trust me." Conner smiled sinisterly, walking towards the girls.

"Don't worry. I will." Angel shook his head, laughing. Like father like son. he noticed Fred and Gunn on the dance floor, along with Weslesy and Faith. It only made him laugh harder. The way Wesley danced combined with how Faith danced. But someone was missing. He looked around. Where was Cordy? He was almost afraid to think of where she might be. The party was after all, in her apartment. he hoped there wasn't a reason behind that. His mood shifted and he walked into the kitchen, depressed, bent on drinking a couple beers with Dennis and was surprised at what he saw.

"Cordy?" She sat at the table, almost empty bottle of wine next to her, glass in her hand. "Oh God, Cor." He went to her, noting the mascara tracks down her cheeks. He took the bottle away, dumping it down the sink. He grabbed her glass and, after a few moments of her protest, it joined the bottle in the sink. He pulled up a chair and sat next to her. "What's wrong Cordy?"

"How can I answer what's wrong, when nothing's right?" He frowned and moved closer to her. "I should be so happy, you know? I have everything I've ever wanted. My career starting, I have great friends, I have a boyfriend who's rich, successful and who actually cares about me...even though he threw me a party at _my own_ house and didn't even show up! He left me dateless on my own party Angel!" She finally looked at him, this time the tears in her eyes were real. "I'm not happy Angel." She started to cry and he held her to him.

"Shhhh. It's okay Cordy."

"No it's not. What's wrong with me? Girls whould kill to be where I am."

"You're not as shallow as other people Cor. You want more than just a flashy lifestyle." She started to cry harder and his embrace tightened, hand stroking her hair. "Just because you like Jason, doens't mean you love him Cor." He said, trying his luck. Her body tensed in his arms.

"Why wouldn't I love him? He's perfect. Everything I always thought I wanted."

"But?" She looked into his eyes, a small smile on her face. It was refreshing.

"He's not you." Angel's eyes widened. This was going into dangerous territory. He wouldn't have cared otherwise, but she wasn't in her right state of mine. She went to kiss him and he stood up, taking her with him.

"Cordy, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."

"The hell I don't! You think just because I had a little to drink I, I can't think straight?" He frowned. He should've just kissed her.

"No. Just calm down. Come on. You still owe me that dance and I hear a slow song coming on." He knew it was coming, she played this cd so much he knew every song by heart. She smiled at him.

"Yeah. You do still owe me a dance, don't you?"

"Yup." She grabbed his arm, looking at him.

"I look like hell, don't I?" He shook his, using his thumb to wipe the black makeup from below her eyes.

"No. I've been to hell Cordy and it didn't look as good as you." She beamed at him, draggin him out of the kitchen. She moved them to the center of the living room. People were clearing out by now. Soon, everyone would be gone. Angel scanned the room while holding her, moving slowly to the music. Fred, Gunn, Wes, Faith, they were gone. He noticed Conner leaving with a girl on his arm and snorted. Cordy looked up and in the direction he was looking. Conner turned and sent Angel a mischevious smile, before walking out.

"Like father like son."

"You know it." She looked at him, hands on either side of his face. She brought his lips down to her and he didn't stop her. It was soft and slow, Angel's lips moving over hers. She moved away and smiled at him. Her head rested on his shoulder, eyes watching as everyone left, waving or saying a good-bye. Once everyone was gone, she kissed him again, passion radiating through out her body. Her hands traveled to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them. Angel was in shock, her hands caressing his chest in the sweetes way. His eyes fluttered open and closed as her nails scraped his flesh softly, staring at the ceiling. "Cor..." The next moments were nothing but a blur of clothes falling to the floor and a rush to the bedroom. Angel's lips wouldn't leave Cordelia's, his body moving above hers, positioning between her legs. "Are you sure?" She smiled, kissing him again using her calf muscles to urge him on.

"I'm sure."


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 7**

Cordelia woke up with a groan. Her head was spinning. But as far as hang over's went, it wasn't that bad. A small smile found it's way on her face as she remembered the previous night. It had been incredible. She switched to her side, heart spliting when she realized he wasn't there. He just got up and left. She shrugged, knowing some how he wouldn't have been there.

"Well, he has a job to do. A teenage son to watch over. And hello! Sun! Had to leave before it came up. He couldn't be stuck here _all_ day. Although, that would've been fun. Plus, if I know Angel, and I _KNOW_ Angel, he probably feels guilty. I can hear him now, can't you Dennis? With his, 'I took advantage of you Cor. You weren't in your right state of mine.' Except I wasn't that drunk Dennis. I knew what I was doing." That's when the guilt hit. She slept with Angel, knew what she was doing. Let him do the most amazing things to her and she was dating someone else. If Jason found out...

"Fuck Jason." She grumbled, arguing with her self conscious thoughts. "He threw a party for me at my own house, for Christ's sake! My own house! And to top it all off, he left me dateless! If he would've shown up, I would've been destracted and wouldn't have slept with Angel." _Good point._ She thought. Being angry with Jason was definately the way to go with this one. She realized something else though. She was hurt. Genuinely hurt. This went beyond being stood up.

"You think you'd be used to it by now Chase. He's done this how many times?" She shrugged, not feeling like getting up. Just as the thought of staying in bed all day was about to be the plan, there was a knock on the door. "Oh come on! I'm laying in an extremely comfortable bed here!" With a frustrated moan she got out of bed. Dragging her feet as she walked, not even close to happy when she sees the person on the other side of the door.

"Cor, I am so sorry-" She put her hand up, silencing him.

"For what? For making me look like a complete idiot in front of every single friend I have? For not having the decency to call me? For forgetting all about me? Or maybe for showing up this morning with flowers and candy and expecting me to say, awww, sweetie, it's okay, I forgive you?"

"I didn't think you'd be this mad."

"What? You think I like being forgotten, Jason?"

"I didn't forget you."

"Right! You could've at least called."

"I was busy babe. Really important meeting with my agent."

"More important than me?"

"Well, yeah." She was surprised and the look on her face showed it. "I mean, no. Of course not. But it was still very impor-" She shook her head.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" She went into her bathroom, locking the door and starting the water. Jason sat down on the couch, trying to collect his thoughts. Damn, he wasn't very good at it either. About fifteen minutes later, the phone rang. He looked at it, then turned his head to the bathroom when the water stopped and the door opened. Cordelia came out of the bathroom, body wrapped in a blue towel, hair falling down her back, leaving giant wet spots on the material. He couldn't take his eyes away from her. Water drops slipped down her cleavage, where he couldn't see. He wished he was that drop of water. "Hello?" Cordelia froze, clutching the towel closer to her body when she heard his voice.

"Cordy?"

"Angel." She tried to keep her voice light and confident, she wasn't doing well. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were coming into work today."

"Yeah. I'll be there in a bit."

"Okay. Because I think we kind of need to talk. I'd rather talk to you in person than over the telephone."

"Yeah. That's a good idea." She turned and saw Jason. She rolled her eyes, and turned her back to him. "I have to go. Jason's here." Angel's heart broke. He was there? After everything that had happened last night, she still had her boyfriend there. Angel cursed himself. _What? You thought she was going to break up with him because of one night? How old are you again?_

"Oh. I shouldn't hold you then." He said and hung up.

"No. Angel. Wait-" She listened to the dial tone for a second, then hung up. Jason glared at her.

"Guess you weren't as lonely last night as you made out."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on. Like your best buddy Angel didn't keep you company."

"You have some serious nerve, you know that? Coming in here after totally ditching me last night and accussing me of screwing around with my best friend. And if it weren't for Angel and Dennis last night, I would've looked like a manless loser. Besides, Angel and Conner didn't even show up until the party was almost over." She walked towards her room, then stopped. She didn't turn around. "You know I cried over you last night. The last boyfriend I cried over was Kevin in high school. And that was only because he was murdered. Think about that." She slammed the door to her room and sat down on the bed. She wouldn't tell him that she had cried over Angel so many times she couldn't keep keep track of them anymore. She got dressed and walked out of her room, surprised that Jason was still there. "Thought you would've had the sense to leave by now."

"Look. I know if probably doesn't mean anything-"

"And it won't."

"But I'm really sorry. I should've called. I should've been here. It was your night and I ruined it."

"You, you didn't ruin it. Really." _Far from, actually._ "It just hurt that you weren't there."

"I know."

"No. You don't. And don't pretend like you do. You're used to having things your way. And don't get me wrong, I am too. I'm not used to being stood up either. Don't do it again." She warned. He smiled softly. "You can pay me back later tonight." He raised an eyebrow, smile growing. "Don't even think about it cause that's not what I meant. I do think I'm in need of a new dress though." Now she smiled and his faded. He shrugged.

"Of course."

"Good." She grabbed a light jacket and wrapped it around her, then grabbed her purse. "I have to go to work. If you're coming with, let's go." He stood up and followed her outside. The drive to the hotel seemed to last forever as Jason went on and on about his meeting with his agent. Always the same story, always the same conversations. She parked and got out as soon as she could. He followed, continuing to talk. She glanced around the lobby. Conner and Gunn were playing their gameboys, Fred was on the computer, Wesley in one of his giant books. Where was Angel? Her eyes darted around and she saw the dark office. She slowly made her way to the office and opened the door. He sat there in a corner dark as the sky, staring off into space. "Angel?" He didn't answer, didn't move. "Angel?" Still nothing. She walked in front of him. His eyes were dark and cold. "Calling Angel! Come in Angel! Come in!" He finally blinked, eyes darting to her.

"Huh?"

"Well, at least I know you're alive. Well, not alive, but...you know."

"What are you doing here?"

"Duh! I work here."

"Yeah. But shouldn't you be out there with _Jason_?"

"Am I sensing sarcasm?" She asked with a brow raised. "I've had enough of snippy men today mister, so if something's wrong, spill it!"

"You know, something is wrong."

"What?" She looked relieved. "Go on, tell me."

"It's you."

**Part 8**

"Me?"

"Yes! You!"

"I'm the one who's got you on a brood-fest? I don't think so." In her mind, she believed him though. He probably felt bad. Or, if she knew him as well as she thought, he probably felt like he was cheating on a certain blonde that didn't need to be mentioned.

"Oh, I know so." There was a pause. "I can't believe I was so stupid." He muttered to himself.

"What?" He continued on, not acknowledging her question.

"I mean, I don't even know what I was thinking and...I thought, just because of one night-" here it came, "I actually thought you would want to be with. Not him." She looked at him, not believing. She couldn't. She must've mixed something he said up and heard what her mind wanted. Not his words, but the ones she had dreamt of him saying.

"Okay, back up a second. What did you say?"

"You're right. I'm sorry. It's not your fault I'm in this mood. It's my fault. You weren't in your right mind last night. I shouldn't have taken advantage of-"

"Would you stop it! I so knew you were going to say that! I even told Dennis!"

"Well, I shouldn't have."

"Angel, just shut up okay?" She sat across from him, on his desk. Her eyes couldn't quite meet his, not sure how he would take what she would say. "I did have a lot to drink. But you'd be surprised how fast I sobered up. I knew what I was doing last night. I was with you every second. I remember every second. I don't want to just forget it Angel. It was too special, to me at least. Last night happened for a reason." She finally looked at him, saw herself in his eyes. Saw the incredulous look. He wanted so much to believe her. "And I don't think I can stay away from you now." He got up from his chair, hand running up the back of her neck as he brought his lips down to hers. She wrapped her arms around his, kissing him as if he would dissappear if she didn't.

"I can't stay away from you either Cordy."

"This is so wrong." She said, a soft laugh escaping her lips.

"I know." But neither of them moved away. They couldn't. They were drawn to each other and it felt too good. Angel's eyes fell upon hers. "What about-"

"Angel. I haven't slept with Jason yet."

"I know." She ran her hands up his chest softly, kissing him tentatively.

"What is it about you that makes me have to touch you?" She asked, lips so close he could feel the skin.

"I'm just so damn tempting." He closed the gap between them. She undid the top two buttons with her fingers so painfully slow, he thought he would lose his mind. It was all he could do to stop her hand, lacing her fingers with his. "We can't do this here." She looked at him, pulling away and lowered her gaze, missing the meaning of his words. He brought her gaze back up to his and gave her a small smile. "Can you come by later tonight?"

"What?" He pressed her hand against him, holding her so intimately close. She could feel him against her, fingers tracing the V of her shirt.

"Come by later tonight? After everyone's gone and asleep. Come over?" She looked at him, eyes wide. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Spend the night with me Cordy?" She smiled softly, kissing him again. She wrapped her arms around him. She couldn't resist letting her hand travel down and squeeze his butt. He hissed, pushing her against the door. Outside the office, the group stared at the door.

"Twenty bucks says that she just threw something at his head but missed." Conner wagered.

"You're on! I bet she threw it, but...he ducked." Faith spitted back. Neither of them aware of what was really going on inside the office, with it's door locked and blinds shut.

"I'll spend the night with you Angel. If you give me a reason. I wouldn't mind a preview of what to expect." Now he smiled and moved away. She didn't expect it.

"This ain't Baskin Robbins, baby. I don't give free samples." He unlocked the door, a wave of confindence spreading over him. "I'll see you tonight." He kissed her once more, letting his lips linger, opened the door and walked out, a smirk on his face.

"That is definately a 'she threw it and I ducked' look! Pay up Junior!" Conner groaned, handing Faith a twenty dollar bill, then shoved his wallet into his back pocket. Cordy leaned against the wall, out of sight, chest heaving. She needed to calm down.

"Come on Chase." She scolded herself. "Get a grip. You're acting like it's your first time." She covered her mouth, hiding her smile. She had never felt so excited. It drifted away though. The guilt was coming. She just said she would spend the night with Angel. Practically begged him to throw her down on his desk and take her like there was no tomorrow, while Jason was just oustide the office. That brought her back to reality fast. She walked out of the room. Conner wasn't there. Probably downstairs, training with Angel. Someone was missing though. "Guys? Where's Jason?"

"Someone called him." Fred informed. "He left. Said it was important." She finished, face scrunching up slightly, not sure how Cordelia would react. The Seer saw red. But it faded, along with her guilt. Now her night was free. She flashed her friends a bright smile. "So...what we working on guys?" They took in her lack of reaction, but thought nothing of it. After all, Cordelia Chase didn't need a man. _They_ needed her. The group got to work and Cordelia's mind was on one thing and one thing only.

Hours flew by and come ten o'clock, Wes and Faith, Gunn and Fred and even Conner had left. He was at his girlfriend's, staying the night. Angel didn't need anymore information and he really didn't want the details. He let him leave with nothing more than a simple,

"Remember that talk we had." Conner rolled his eyes and nodded, tapping his jean pocket. Cordelia really didn't want to know. He left them alone and the awkward moment came as the two took in their situation. But when their eyes finally met, it undid them both. Angel grabbed Cordelia, pulling her to him. He slammed his lips to hers and she responded immediately, wrapping her legs around him. He carried her into the lobby, planning to go up to his room.

The two didn't make it though as Cordelia's impatient hands undid the buttons of his shirt, pushing it off. He sat on the couch, bringing her with him. He pulled her shirt over her head, unclasping her bra and removing that as well. She pushed him onto his back, undoing his pants and pulling them off. She stood up, unbuttoning her pants and pulling them down, along with her panties, Angel's eyes never leaving her body. She moved on top of him, straddling his thighs, and lowered herself onto him. Her breath hitched and she let out a soft moan as he filled her.

Cordelia let it sink in, prolonged the feeling. She couldn't believe this was happening. Here she was, with Angel. His hands moved to her hips, thumbs making circles on her thighs. He let out a gasp as she began to move against him. His hands moved from her hips up to her breasts and he leaned forward to take a nipple into his mouth. He sucked at the breast, moving with her. She could feel herself getting closer and closer, but she didn't want that release to occur just yet. She wanted to feel Angel inside her for as long as possible.

Angel had a look of wonder and pleasure on his face as she moved against him, felling her clit rubbing against his shaft. She couldn't hold on any longer and surged forward into a thundering release. Angel cried out with her as she came. Cordelia felt him go rigid inside her and knew his his orgasm would be forthcoming. He drove himself deeper and deeper inside her and came, sending her into another rapturous climax. Her breath echoed through the silent hotel as did his own. She ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"You, you don't need to breathe."

"I know. See what you do to me?"

"What I do to you? Please..." He moved up and held her to him. He kissed her softly, sweetly. Cordelia was surprised by it, but continued to kiss him back. She picked her up, carrying her upstairs. He moved on top of her, kissing down her body. He ran his tounge in a circle around her belly button and left bite marks on her stomach. Something switched on in Cordelia's brain and she grabbed Angel, bringing her up to him. "Angel. The curse." She frowned. She had slept with him twice already and he hadn't gone evil. He really didn't love her.

"Don't worry about that Cordy."

"But-"

"My soul's permanent."

"Since when?" He shrugged.

"I don't know. But I've known for a while." She smacked him hard, pushing him off her. He let out a laugh.

"And you didn't tell me? Talk about a mood killer!" She turned away from him.

"Don't you want to know how I found out?" He asked, moving on to his side. He loomed over her, fingers tracing soft circles in her skin. From her shoulders and neck, down to her chest and circling a breast. She let out a gasp and moved into his touch. His hand moved lowered down and hovered at the apex of her thighs. She grabbed his hand, bringing him closer to her.

"How?" He moved his hand away, even as she protested and leaned his head on her shoulder, whispering in her ear.

"When Conner came back and when you came back. I had you both with me again. I had never felt so happy in my life. That's when I realized my soul was permanent. Because there was no way I could be so happy, so perfectly happy," He said the words with so much emotion, it made her shake, "and still have my soul." She smiled, lacing her fingers with his as he kissed her.

"Angel. Make love to me." He moved on top of her, bringing his lips down to hers. She held onto him and smiled. She wasn't going to feel guilty about this. She didn't think she could if she wanted to. She really didn't care what kind of person that made her either.

**Part 9**

The loud ringing of a cell phone startled Cordelia out of a peaceful, much needed sleep. For a while she just thought it was her imagination, she was hearing things. But it grew louder and louder, more persistent. She was so just leaving it on vibrate at night now. Angel woke up when she tried to move and wrapped his arms tighter around her. She smiled. It was incredible how right this felt. She had slept better last night than she had for months. Well, she should say she slept better this morning. She flipped open her cell phone and looked at the time. It had started ringing again. It was nine AM. Her and Angel hadn't gotten to sleep until five this morning. She smiled, pushing a finger to his lips.

"Shhhhh." She said, seeing the name on the cell phone. He licked her finger and her body quivered. Last night had been worth every hour. "Hello?" She answered the phone. Angel sat up, listening to the conversation, hearing the voice on the other line.

"Cordelia! I've been calling your house for hours! Where are you?"

"Morning to you too Jason! Definately the wake up call I wanted!"

"I'm sorry. I just, I really needed to talk to you."

"Why? What's wrong?" She asked, genuinely concerned. That's when Angel made his move, wrapping his arms around her. His lips latched to the skin of her neck and shoulders. She leaned back, tilting her head. What that man could do with his mouth

"Nothing. I have a meeting with a producer of a movie and he wants to meet my girlfriend. I've been calling your apartment for hours. Where are you?"

"I-I'm at the hotel?" She muttered, breath suddenly heavy. Angel's hand moved to her breast, squeezing and massaging the sensitive flesh.

"Scream for me Cordy." He whispered in her other ear, loud enough for only her to hear it. His other hand creeped down, spreading her legs. She pushed his hand away.

"Why are you at the hotel?" Jason asked, curious. She sounded different all of the sudden.

"It was a lahh-" She let out a soft moan. "Long night last night. The guys didn't get in until like, like fi-ive!" She cried as Angel's cool hands found her most sensitive of areas and started to go to work. Her head fell back onto his shoulder as his fingers moved in and out of her hard.

"What's going on?"

"Fred and I had a little slumber party last night. I fell asleep on the couch and I have some horrible kinks in my neck. Uh, Faith! Faith is trying to rub them out and she REALLY doesn't know her own strength." She felt her self nearing the edge, Angel's blunt teeth scraping along the flesh of her shoulder and neck. "Um, hold on for a minute, okay?" She put her hand over the phone and moved Angel's free hand over her mouth. He smiled and held it there as she let out a scream of pleasure, weight resting on him as she all but fell back. She gave herself a couple of seconds, letting the air back into her lungs. "Jason? You still here?"

"Yeah. Um, I'll be at the hotel in like an hour. Get ready. Put on something nice, we're meeting for brunch."

"What do you mean? You don't think I dress nice?"

"Of course I do! Just, get in your, I'm going out to impress clothes."

"I always dress to impress."

"I know. But more so now, okay? I have to go. Love you! Bye!" He hung up. She slammed the phone close and threw it across the room. Angel laughed at her.

"What?"

"You're adorable when you're angry." She smiled, then glared at him.

"Don't ever do that again." Seeing his look. "When I'm on the phone, that is." She moved on top of him and he smiled beneath her, leaning up to give her a peck on the lips.

"For what it's worth, I think you dress nice." She smiled brightly then frowned.

"I have to go with Jason to meet with this producer guy. This could be it Angel. He might think, 'Hey. She can be on a show, she can be in a movie.' You know?" He frowned and nodded. She layed her head on his chest, kissing the flesh, running her tounge over his nipple. "Angel?"

"Yeah." He said, dissappointment in his voice.

"I don't want to end this Angel. I don't think I could, even if I did want to." He ran his fingers over her back. "I don't want to stay away from you and pretend this never happened."

"I don't want to either Cordy. You don't know how hard it's been staying away from you. Wanting to be with you for so long."

"Yes. I do, Angel. I know _exactly_ what it's like. That's why I don't think we should do it anymore." She planted a kiss to his lips. "I have to get in the shower."

"All right." She got off of him and walked to the door way of the bathroom, turned, and looked at him.

"Join me?" She didn't have to ask twice. He was up and locking the bathroom door behind them in seconds.

Cordelia looked at herself in the mirror. She looked good as always. Angel wrapped his arms around her and started kissing her neck. She leaned into him.

"I think I'm going to tell Jason, after this thing he has, that it's over." He froze and looked at her. She continued to look into the mirror. "It's so weird. I can feel you, I know you're there, but I still can't see you."

"One of the vampire disadvantages. That, sun light and Holy water."

"I noticed you changed the subject."

"Did not."

"Did too. Why?"

"I don't know if you realize what you're doing." She turned to face him. "I want to be with you Cordelia, but I don't know if I can take you away from everything you have. It would be sel-" She put her finger to his lips.

"Don't say it. Besides, my life. And the way Jason's been cheating me lately, I don't think he'd even notice."

"He'd have to be blind." She kissed him.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?" He nodded and she left him. About ten minutes later, Angel walked down stairs. No one gave him any odd looks. Conner finally woke up and came downstairs too.

"Surprised you're here. When did you get in?"

"Last night. Around one." He smiled at his father and Angel's eyes widened. Conner walked up to him and whispered loud enough for only him to hear. "You really weren't expecting me home that early, were you?"

"Damn your vampire-like hearing."

"I got it from you. Blame yourself." He walked away and into the kitchen to make himself a bologna sandwich.

Cordelia opened her car door and Jason took her hand. She had to admit, he looked nice. He had told her how amazing she looked at she had accepted the compliment graciously. But the time she was spending with him only made her question her decision. She felt bad for cheating on Jason. And now he was treating her so sweetly, like she was a queen.

"You really do look gorgeous." She flashed him a smile and linked her arm with his when he offered it. He opened the door for her and she walked in.

"Surprise!" She stood there and stared at the people in the room. All the of the show she had just been casted on were there. She looked around, then at Jason.

"What's going on?"

"I felt horrible for not making it the other day. I know I can't make up for that but I figured I could throw you a little celebration with your future co-stars." She looked at him.

"Oh my God. I so love you, you know that?" She couldn't stop it and it just came out. She gave him a hug and tried to have a good time. But the whole time her mind was wandering. Could she really throw away six months of a good reltaionship that fast? Could she do that to Jason?

**Part 10**

Cordelia had spent the entire afternoon with Jason. He had never been so sweet, and it was killing her. She couldn't break up with him after everything they had been through. She couldn't hurt him like that. She had gone back to her apartment, not sure what to do.

"I don't know Dennis! I don't want to hurt Jason. We've been threw a lot together." She heard a crash and rolled her eyes. "I know you don't like him. You don't like any one." She thought. "And usually for good reason, but I think you're just jealous. But even so, after last night with Angel...I don't know Dennis. I know you like Angel, you guys kick back, he talks, you listen. Well, you both sit there in silence, actually. But I think you only like him because he's dead." She flopped on the coush with a pout on her face.

"I don't know what to do!" She turned to the tv as it turned on. She raised her eybrows and let out a huff. "Oh, I'm sorry Dennis! Our my problems boring you? Pffft! Ghosts are so insensitive!" She got up and stormed out of her apartment, talking to herself while she drove. "I'll just have to tell Angel that, even though he's my best friend and I love him to death and he's sexy as hell, I just can't hurt Jason like that. I've been dating him too long. Yup. That's exactly what I'll say."

She pulled up to the hotel and walked inside. No one was really around. She saw someone's shadow in the kitchen and walked inside to see him. "Angel-" She was cut off when he turned around, a beautiful smile on his face. She loved the way his eyes squinted up when he smiled.

"What's up?" He asked her, grabbing a plate from the cupboard.

"Angel, I need to tell you something. This is going to be so hard for me, but I have to tell you."

"Hold on one second." That's when the wonderful smell hit her nose. He was cooking something. She loved it when he cooked. And it smelled...sweet. He turned around, plate in hand. On it, were a batch of heart shaped, pink colored cookies.

"Oh my God." She picked up a cookie and smiled. He didn't know where he got the idea, or how he thought to actually [I}make[/I] them pink, but it didn't matter. It was so sweet, so...Angel. She looked at his smiling face, his eyes were lit up and she coudln't do it. She couldn't hurt Angel like that. He didn't deserve that. She closed the gap between them and kissed him. He didn't hesitate in returning it. Cordelia's hands cupped his face, then her mind went off and she remembered she still had to tell him something. She pulled her lips away, keeping her face only an inch from his. "Angel. I didn't break up with Jason." His eyes clouded in shock and worry. "I couldn't. I'm sorry, but I couldn't hurt him like that. I can't just dump him out of the blue. I don't...I don't know what to do." Her voice cracked and he held her.

"Shhhh. It's okay."

"No it's not. I can't stand it. But I've been with him for six months and I can't just-"

"Cordy. It's okay. It was a quick decision. I'm not going to force you to make up your mind."

"But I can't be away from you Angel. Every second you're not with me, it hurts."

"I know." He held onto her and she rested her head on his chest. "What do we do now?"

"I guess it's kind of..." She took a long, shakey breath. "up to you."

Cordelia fell on Angel's bed, his body instantly covering her. His hands pushed her dress up around her waist, his mouth trailing a line of kisses down her abdomen, to his destination. His lips kissed her, teasing and tantalizing. His tounge found the sensitized nub and he gently began to lick at it. Every stroke of his tounge took her higher.

"Oh my-oh God!" His hand moved to the outside of her thigh and started to caress the flesh. "Yes, yes, Angel." She moaned in her throat. The sound made Angel's body stiffen, along with other things as his tounge continued the sweetest torture Cordelia had ever experienced.

She pushed herself against him, back arching of the bed, hands gripping the soft material of the comforter. She let out another moan, her arousal escalating. Her whole body shook and she fell over the edge. Angel's lips pressed against the side of her thigh, making their way higher until he kissed her shoulder as the last embers of her orgasm flickered and died.

"I love a moaner Cordelia." She looked at him with annoyance.

"Don't look so smug. It wasn't that great and I wasn't that loud." She said, sitting up. A couple brown locks fell around her face and he smiled.

"God, you're beautiful." Her gaze lowered, her cheeks turning redder. She moved closer to him and let him wrap his arms around her. They were both snapped out of their moment when the sound of music was played and the volume turned up. He chuckled. "You think that's a hint?" He asked her and wasn't surprised when he heard Conner's voice over the music.

"Hell yes!" He continued to laugh and heard a door slam. Cordelia looked at him, surprised.

"You told Conner?"

"What?" Seeing her angry expression. "No! No! He actually came up to me this morning after I came downstairs. He came home really early last night." Her eyes widened. "Don't worry. No one else knows. It's just that vampire hearing." She crossed her arms and leaned into him.

"Guess we'll just have to be quieter, won't we?"

"Hmmm. I guess so." He moved on top of her, lips about to touch hers when the ring of a cell phone was heard in his room. "Dammit."

"It's your's this time honey. Not mine." He picked up his phone and snarled into the phone.

"Hello?"

"Angel?"

"Fred. What's up?"

"Are you okay? You sound angry." He frowned, feeling bad. He just yelled at Fred, probably made her jump.

"I'm fine. Just training. Burning off some energy so I'm a little wired right now. I didn't mean to yell."

"Oh. It's okay." She said in a bubbley tone. "We need your help though."

"Now?" He all but whined. Cordelia smiled. He was so cute when he did that.

"Yes. I'm sorry, but we do."

"Why?"

"Because, there's this demon nest Charles and I came across so we called Wesley and Faith. You seemed a little stressed earlier, so we didn't want to bother you. But there are a lot of them and they look...huge! And I really don't want them going in there and getting their asses kicked or worse, you know?"

"Yeah. I know. Where are you guys?"

"We're on Camino. Right by that old gas station."

"All rght. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay. Bye Angel."

"Bye." He hung up. "Un-freakin-believeable. Demons in a gas station and they have to find it _now_."

"You are too cute when you whine, you know that? Your face does this little thing and oh my God, you just look so hot." He laughed then frowned.

"You're not helping me want to leave, you know that?" He stood up with a grumble and pulled on a shirt. "You going to come?" He asked and she shook her head with a soft yawn. "Will you be here when I get back?" She got out of the bed and walked up to him and ran her hand down his thigh.

"Maybe." She grabbed his hand and put it on her breast and he squeezed, leaning down and kissing the soft skin. "Give me a reason to."

"I already did."

"Then maybe, if you're lucky, I'll still be up here when you get back." He pressed his lips to hers quickly.

"I'll hurry." He walked out, closing the door behind him and walked to Conner's room. He knocked loud then opened the door.

"Can you say 'privacy?'" Conner asked.

"No. Come on. We're needed." He smiled and jumped up.

"I get to use my new ax?"

"Yeah. But come on. We have to hurry." Cordelia opened the door just enough to see Angel walk out the door with Conner, weapons in hand. Her consciance hit her and she leaned against the door and cried.

"What am I doing?" She asked herself. "You really screwed things up this time Chase. Talk about complicated." She walked into Angel's bathroom and splashed her face with cold water. She looked at herself in the mirror and bit her lip to keep from crying again. She walked out of the bathroom and picked up her clothes, putting them on in a hurry. She opened the door and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry Angel." She said softly and walked out of the room and out of the hotel.

One hour later

The gang walked inside the hotel covered in demon goo. They all had smiles on their faces and were laughing.

"No! As funny as it was hearing Wesley scream like a little girl, it was even funnier when Angel slipped on the demon blood and fell on his ass." Gunn said, laughing.

"I did not scream like a girl." Wesley said and Conner laughed.

"Right. So that wasn't a shriek?"

"Angel. Shut your kid up."

"Or what? Think you can take me Wes?"

"No. But my girlfriend can."

"I wasn't aware I had two children." Angel said, recieving a look from Wesley. He smiled. "You two behave. I'm going upstairs to shower." He walked into his room, smile falling when he didn't see or sense her in there. "Cordy?" He tried anyway and walked into the bathroom. He shook his head and pursed his lips together. He had asked her to stay and she had left. Left _him_. He groaned and sat on the edge of the bathtub, turning the shower on. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. And this bathroom wasn't supposed to smell like her either.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 11**

Cordelia had spent the night confused and crying. Come morning she felt stupid and had no idea why she had left Angel's room in the first place.

"Dennis, what's wrong with me? Why can't I just make up my mind?" The white board floated up and she frowned.

"Guilt," was scribbled in green marker.

"I was afraid you'd say that. What do I do Dennis?"

"Don't know."

"A lot of help you are!" She sat, pouting, on the couch for about five minutes. "It's like, I know it's wrong to be doing this with Angel. But every time I get around him, I can't help myself. After everything happens I feel bad because I'm cheating on Jason. I'm doing something that is...beyond low." A couple seconds passed. "But it feels so good!" She heard her bedroom door slam and laughed softly. "Sorry Dennis! I forgot how jealous you get!" There was a knock on the door. Spirits being slightly raised thanks to her wonderful ghostly room mate, Cordelia opened the door with a smile. "Hello?"

"Delivery for Miss Chase."

"That would be me." She flashed him a flirtacious smile, just to brighten the guy's day a little. It had the desired effect.

"Sign here please." She took the clipboard and signed real quick. He handed her the box and finally returned the smile. "Have a good day."

"You too." She shut her door and carried the box to her table, ripping it open and sending the foam pieces flying. "What is this?" Cordelia asked, slightly annoyed when she found yet another box. It was wrapped in shiny gold paper and lacey red ribbon. "Angel." She muttered and pulled it out. There was a card and she read it.

_**Cordelia,  
>Hope you like this gift. It's your size, I made sure.<br>I think you'll like the color. Anyway, it cost me a  
>fortune and I can't wait to see you in it.<br>Love Always,  
>Jason<strong>_

She frowned, feeling bad that she had assumed it was from Angel.

"Oh well." She unwrapped it and removed the tissue paper. Her attitude changed when she saw the black silky bra and the matching thong. She heard a soft drum roll on her counter and shot a look to where the noise came. "Shut up Dennis." The noise stopped and she looked back at the lingerie. The phone rang and she knew it was him. "What?"

"Whoa! Someone's in a mood. Should I call back later?"

"No! Where the hell to you get off sending me what you sent me?"

"What do you mean?"

"The lingerie!"

"What? You don't like it." She couldn't believe it.

"You don't get it, do you?"

"Not really, no."

"I told you before that I wasn't ready to sleep with you. What is it you don't get?"

"The fact that you don't want to."

"I told you! I had problems with past boyfriends who I actually had sex with! I mean hello! One died, one impregnated me with demon spawn, and the last one left me!"

"But they weren't me."

"You don't understand. And bugging me about it really isn't going to make the situation better." A pause. "How do you know what my size is?" The mental image of him going through her underwear drawer made her shutter. "Never mind. Don't tell me!"

She hung up and pulled the phone cord out of the wall. She didn't know if it was out of anger for Jason, or herself for leaving Angel. Or if it was because she was afraid of what his reaction might be. But it didn't matter. She grabbed the pieces of material and changed into them, throwing on a T-shirt with an incredibley low v-neck and a skirt so low and tight that she could barely move. No, wait, that was because of the shoes. She put on her makeup and did her hair like any day, no one would know the difference.

She walked into the office cheerfully and greeted everyone. Except Angel of course, who was no where to be seen. She looked at Conner.

"He's in his room." He said. She nodded and walked up the stairs, knocking on his door.

"Go away." His tone was lower than usual. Way more growly.

"Angel..."

"Go. Away." She bit her lip and looked up to the ceiling for a second before opening the door and shuting it behind her. "What is it about _go away_ you don't get?"

"The part where I actually leave."

"How about get the hell out? Does that work better for you?"

"Not really." She looked at him. Despite the anger he was forcing to the surface, she could see the hurt behind his eyes and it was tearing her up inside. "Angel, I'm so sorry."

"Don't."

"But I am Angel. You don't understand how much-"

"Save it Cordelia. You left for a reason. It said everything."

"Angel, no. I was confused."

"Cordelia! You're always confused! One minute you want me, then you want Jason, then me, then Jason! I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to make a decision!" He said, flopping into his chair. She walked over to him, hips swishing from side to side. He couldn't help it, his eyes followed each movement. His skin itching to peel off the clothing hiding her body from his. He was addicted and he needed his fix.

Cordelia saw the reaction and used it to her advantage, walking over to him and sitting with her legs on either side of his body. She moved her mouth to his neck and started to bite softly at the skin. She knew how crazy it would make him. He groaned, letting his head fall back.

"I doubt that." She pulled off her shirt and threw it to the side, taking the opportunity to look at him. To let him know that she really meant what she was saying. "Angel. I really am sorry."

"I know." He looked at her, then down at the soft material, taking it between his thumb and index finger. "This is new."

"Yeah." His eyes were smidged with gold, teeth clenching.

"_He_ bought this for you." He was about to move but she pushed him back down.

"Yeah. He did. But I didn't wear it for him, did I?"

"You tell me."

"Am I with him Angel? No. I'm here, with you."

"Are you?"

"Hello! Do you not see me sitting on your lap?"

"Yes."

"Then..."

"Are you with me? Is your mind with me?" He looked into her eyes and she knew that this wasn't going away with a simple apology. "What is it that keeps bringing you back Cordy? Are you even thinking about me when we're making love?" The way he looked at her said he wanted an answer. And he wanted it now.

"Angel. I'm here because of you. Because I want to be with you."

"Then why are you still with Jason? Why is he...buying you gifts?" He said, a hint of disgust in his tone when he said the last part of his sentence.

"I don't know." He moved out from under her and handed her shirt back to her.

"Do you love me Cordelia?"

"What?" She couldn't believe he was doing this now.

"Do you love me?"

"I, I ca-" He nodded and opened the door when she put her shirt back on.

"Go back home Cordelia. Your boyfriend might be worried." She walked out the door and turned.

"An-" he shut the door in her face. For the second time, she walked away from Angel's room. This time she knew; however, how much he was hurting. No one said a word as she left the hotel, just cast a glance at Conner.

"Told ya." He said and walked upstairs. He opened his father's door and walked in. He sat on the corner of the bed, Angel back in his brooding chair. There was a long silence. "You all right?"

"Yes."

"Liar." The two sat in the dark, staring at the floor.

"You shouldn't be in here. Wasting your life brooding."

"Like you do?" He asked. Angel finally looked up at him. "I'm not going anywhere." He looked back at his father with his head cocked and smiled, before continuing to immitate his brood tactics.

"You're getting annoying."

"Now you know what it looks like."

"Go...kill something evil."

"No."

"I'm your father. You have to listen to me." Conner stood up and raised an eyebrow.

"I will if you get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'm not. You don't understand."

"Whatever." He said sighing. "You're starting to look really old, you know that?"

"Am not. I'm eternal."

"Well, I'm not. And I'm going to sit here, brooding like you do, wasting my life like you do until you get off your ass and come downstairs." Angel stared at his son and raised an eyebrow, letting out a soft chuckle. He stood up and walked to Conner.

"Watch the mouth. Ladies don't like men who cuss all the time."

"I don't cuss in front of women. Just you."

"Well, don't."

"You left me no choice." He reasoned. Angel just shook his head and smiled.

"I love you son." Conner grimaced.

"Don't get all mushy on me just cuz you didn't get none." Conner stopped in front of the door as he was leaving. "I love you too Dad." He left the room. Angel smiled and followed his son, a different sort of warmth spreading through him. Even if Cordelia didn't love him, he had his son. And that was more than enough.

**Part 12**

Angel sat across from Wesley and the rest of the Gang.

"Why do I feel like I'm being interrogated here?" He whispered to his son.

"Because you are."

"Oh. Yeah."

"We're not interrogating you Angel." Wesley assured. "We just want to be kept updated."

"Do I ask you for details in your personal life Wes?" He whispered loud enough for only his son to hear. "Not that I would. Yeesh." He faked a shutter. Conner laughed and Wesley eyed them. Angel just gave him an innocent smile.

"I don't want details Angel. Lord knows, I really don't. But you didn't even tell us about the anchoring of your soul! And this reltaionship with Cordelia-" Angel snorted.

"Right. _What_ relationship?" They looked at him. "She doesn't love me. There is no relationship. And I don't think I have to explain myself to anyone." He said, realizing his own frustration with this conversation.

"We're not _anyone_ Angel. We're your friends."

"I know. And I appreciate your friendship Wes, I really do. I appreciate all of you guys. But I have to deal with this on my own. It's my problem."

"It effects the work place Angel, you know that. Cordelia's not even here right now. When have you ever known her to leave early? Come in late, yes. But never leave early. And what if she has a vision?"

"She'll call. She won't let what's going on between us effect the mission. She won't let innocents die because we're having problems. I know her better than that." Wesley did his signature rub of the glasses, then placed them back on his face.

"Yes. I suppose you're right about that."

"I know I am."

"I know I'm not the boss around here anymore Angel. But my opinion still matters. Especially if I see something that could disrupt our buisness. I'm just looking out for you and Cordelia."

"I know Wes. But we'll work it out. If she needs us, if she needs me, she'll call."

A couple moments passed, soft conversation feeling the hotel's lobby. Angel was silent, thinking about random things that passed through his mind. Mostly Cordelia...and the mission too of course. She would call if she needed him, right? He was startled and jumped slightly when the phone rang. Conner answered and Angel stared at him harshly, making sure he answered the phone _CORRECTLY_.

"Angel Investigations. How can we help you?" He said, voice sickeningly sweet as he sent Angel a disgusted look.

"Conner. It's me. You don't need to feign niceness."

"Oh thank God. It's sickening. What's going on?"

"Is your dad there? I had a vision."

"Yeah. Hold on." He turned his head away from the phone. "Dad! It's Cordy! She had a vision!" He smiled at his father's grimacing face.

"I'm right here Conner. I can here you fine." He said, getting up and walking to the phone. His feet felt like they were cinder blocks and his pace showed it. "Hello?"

"Angel?"

"Yeah. Hold on." He said, reaching for the pad of paper and pen Fred handed him. "Where am I going?"

"796 West Lincoln. A family. They aren't going to know what's going on until it happens, so you might want to hurry."

"All right." There was a moment of silence as he jotted it all down, then he looked at the five pairs of eyes staring at him. He turned his back to them and talked softly into the phone. "Are you okay?"

"What?" She asked, almost surprised by the genuine concern in his voice.

"Are you okay? You know? With the vision and all."

"Yeah. No pain. Demon DNA and all. Dennis is taking good care of me. I'm just a little shaken up. Not used to the graphics and surround sound."

"Want me to stop by?" Her mind was screaming, Yes! Yes! Come over! I'm sorry! Please come by!

"No. I'm fine. Really. Go save some people, okay? No relief until people are saved."

"Okay. Can I take this one on my own?"

"Yeah. Should be no sweat."

"All right. Bye." He hung up and turned to the expecting eyes of his friends and son. "I've got this one on my own. I'll be back as soon as I can. I'm going to stop by Cordelia's on my way back. Just to make sure she's all right." Without another word he left, coat swaying and circling his body and he walked.

Angel knocked on the door. Just from the knock, she knew it was him. Not hard enough for him to be angry, but not even close to feminine. Always in charge. And that was _really_ a turn on. But why was he here? Within a few seconds, she opened the door. The two just stared at each other for a few seconds. They weren't sure what they were looking for, but they were definately searching.

"Hey."

"Hey." There was silence.

"Um, come on in?" He stepped into her home. He had an invite, had for years, but he wasn't sure if she really wanted him here right now. "What are you doing here?"

"Always straight to the point, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah. Especially after you told me to get the hell out."

"I think I had my reasons!"

"Not to act like that!"

"Cordelia! You came wearing the underwear that _JASON_ gave you."

"I wasn't wearing it to Jason, was I?"

"No, but he gave it to you! What the hell were you thinking? Were you thinking?"

"I-"

"No! You weren't! Because if you were, you wouldn't have done that! You think I want to be smelling him all over you when I'm kissing you?"

"Why are you here Angel? You come just to make me feel bad about something I did? I hope that isn't why you're here Angel because if it is, you can leave right now."

"I came to see if you were all right." She frowned and sat down on the couch. He flopped down next to her.

"Why do you make me get so defensive?"

"I don't know." There was another stretch of silence. "I know the question's been out played, but what do we do now?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"This is insane. You've been gone for..." He looked at his watch. "Four hours. Only four hours and I have not been able to get you out of my mind."

"Trust me. I know the feeling." She turned to him. "Why are we putting ourselves through this?"

"What?" He looked at her confused.

"Angel. We have no commitment. No relationship, no promises, nothing. Why are we making such a big deal out of this?"

"Because it is a big deal. It is to me and I know it is to you too because if it weren't, you would've called it off after that night at your party." She didn't like what he was insinuating. Cordelia Chase didn't need anyone, and she certainly did not him.

"I hadn't gotten any in a long time and, like you said, I was a little not myself-"

"Bull shit!" He said, words emphasized when he shot off the couch, pacing.

"Hey! Your words, not mine!"

"That only worked for that one time! It didn't happen only once Cordelia!"

"Well, I-"

"And if it was because you hadn't 'gotten any', why didn't you sleep with Jason? Why not him? Or are _you_ the one having fun with the mind games?" She looked at him and he saw confusion and a little bit of fear in her eyes. She really didn't know what was going on inside her mind right now, didn't want to know what her heart was screaming at her.

"I don't know. I don't know why I can't keep my hands off you. I don't know why I can't bring myself to touch _him_. I have no idea Angel and I'm sick of not knowing!" He smiled and sat down next to her again.

"I do Cordelia. I do know. And I thing you do too. You're just not ready to admit it yet."

"I'm scared Angel." She said honestly.

"Me too. But I'm willing to try." He moved his lips closer to hers slowly, giving her enough time to protest. She didn't. She slowly rolled his jacket off his shoulders and back.

"I don't want to lose you Angel." She whispered. He brought her body closer to his, feeling the heat surge through him immediately from just the contact with her skin.

"You couldn't even if you wanted to." She smiled at him.

"That was sweet. And, a little creepy if I didn't know you better." She wasn't sure how long she could keep seeing Jason and Angel. But at this time, she knew she couldn't break away from either of them. Jason was comfortable and familiar, long lasting. And Angel, Angel was the unknown. And she was terrified to explore that part of herself, that part of him. So she just tuned out what her mind was screaming at her and focused on Angel. On now.

**Part 13**

Next Saturday, Ten AM

Cordelia felt good. Great. Infact, she felt spectacular. She was walking on air. Today was the first day of shooting for the new season of the show. _Her_ show.

"Okay. So it isn't mine exactly. But give it some time, it will be." She put on some olive ribbed twill pants and a black heathered surpline v-neck top. Her smile was a mile wide and she couldn't hold back the excitement she felt. She was nervous though, very nervous. Her mind was spinning and she was dizzy with curiosity. She had never been a co-star on a television series before and it was a little un-nerving.

"Dennis? Have you seen my black boots? The ones with the spike heels?" She applied one more coat of lip gloss as the shoes floated to her. "Thank you Dennis!" She put them on quickly, walked outside, and hopped into her jeep.

***

The set was busy and the lights were horribley bright. Her eyes wanted to squint shut but she forced them to stay open. She really wasn't looking to have to reapply her masscara. A million people seemed to rush past her, then more in the opposite direction. It was a mad house. She could feel him approaching behind her.

"Is it always like this?"

"Afraid so. Only for the first two or three episodes though."

"Okay." She turned around and looked at him. "How do I look? I look good, right?"

"You look great. But they're going to give you what you're wearing babe."

"I know. But I want to look good when I showed up. Just so they know that I _always_ look this good." He laughed. "You laughing at me?"

"Yeah."

"That is so mean. My first day and you're already making fun of me." She thought for a second. "So this is how all those people felt in high school."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. So," she rubbed her hands together, "what do we do first?" He shrugged.

"I don't know. They'll probably send you to wardrobe, then makeup." As if on cue, the makeup artist walked over to them.

"This is what they give me to work with?" She looked Cordelia over. She had the sudden urge to wrap her arms around herself or take someone's jacket. "She's cute Jason." She squinted and took a closer look. "We'll have to do something about those laugh lines though."

"Laugh lines? What laugh lines? I have no laugh lines." She argued, hands on her hips.

"Oh. And that little mark on the side of her face. What is that? A birth mark?" Cordelia bit her lip, keeping the words in.

"No. The mark's sexy." Jason said and Cordelia smiled, until his next commet. "What about those circles under her eyes? They're pretty dark. You can work with that, right?"

"I can make due." She started to walk, then turned back to Cordelia. "Are you coming?" She shot a look at Jason as if to say, "Why aren't you defending me?" then followed the evil woman to make up and wardrobe.

***

"So now you're mad at me again?"

"Uh, how can I put this. Hell yes!"

"Why?"

"Thanks for taking my side against the dragon lady. And what do you mean, 'what are you going to do about those black circles under her eyes?' You're not perfect either, honey!"

"Riiight. But anyway, this isn't about me. This is about you being mad at me, not about my lack of faults."

"A little into yourself, aren't you?"

"No."

"Could've fooled me." He moved and stood in front of her, a look of frustration on his face.

"I really wasn't looking to get into it with you."

"Oh, and I was? I just woke up this morning wanting to get into a fight with you on my first day on the set! Do you even know half the stuff that comes out of your mouth?"

"Yes. And every word I say, I mean."

"Then I guess you really are an ass. Now, if you'll excuse me, the dark circles under my eyes and I are going! I have a job to do and people who don't criticize my appearence to see!"

***

Any angry feelings Cordelia had when she arrived at the hotel, dissolved as soon as she stepped through the double doors.. She watched the interactions in the hotel. Gunn was feeding Fred a french fry. Fred moved and Gunn accidently got ketchup on her nose. They both laughed as she wiped it away with a napkin Gunn handed her. It was something so common, yet so romantic at he same time.

On the other side of the lobby, Faith was watching the gleam of the sword from the hotel lights and was seeing how bright it would get with each movement, while Wesley scanned through a gigantic book at incredible speed, looking for something in particular.

"Any luck?" Faith asked, sitting on the desk with the sword at her side.

"Nothing. I've searched and searched and my bloody head feels like it's going to explode." Faith kicked the side of the chair softly, turning Wesley around. His back was to her and she started to massage his shoulders and neck, trying to releave his tension. She heard a grunt and a crash downstairs and crept to the basement door to see Angel helping Conner up.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He pouted.

"Good. Now concentrate. Don't take your eyes off your opponent...ever."

"All right, all right."

"In a hurry to get new bruises, are we?"

"I'm not gonna be the one bruised." Cordelia smiled.

"Pretty picture, ain't it Sweetpea?" She heard Lorne come up behind her.

"Hard to believe a year ago they were at each other's throats. Literally."

"I know. See? Things always work out the way they're supposed to. You just have to take that free ticket when it's offered to you." She turned around and gave him a quizzical look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Now he smiled, red eyes glistening in amusement.

"I think you know Princess. Angel's the dense one, not you. And if he gets it, I know you do too. Question is, you ready to take that all expense free trip?" She watched his back as he turned and left her alone.

"For some one who never makes any sense, that was pretty damn clear." She grumbled. She didn't want to hear it. Not yet.

"What's clear?" Angel asked, a towel around his neck. She smiled at him.

"Nothing. Just talking to Lorne. You know him and his metaphores. Something about a ticket? I don't know."

"Hi Cordy."

"Hey Conner." The teenager turned a hopeful look to his father.

"Can I go? Please? I'll be in by one, I swear."

"Yeah. That's what you said last time."

"I will. I promise." He put his right hand up and made the boy-scoat signal. "Demon's spawn's honor." Angel rolled his eyes.

"Fine. But I want you in by twelve."

"Daaaad." He whined.

"You want to shoot for eleven?"

"Fine. Twelve o'clock, no later."

"Awesome. I have to go take a shower, get dressed, do my hair..." He ran up the stairs, shouting a, "buy Cordy!" before he shut his door with a loud bang. Seconds later, the spray of the shower was heard.

"I think he's excited." Angel finally looked at Cordelia, something unreadable was in her eyes. "What's going on?" He asked, trying to be casual. He wasn't very good at it.

"Nothing. Long day, way too many people on the set, very busy. I'm a little tense."

"Oh. Showbiz, right? Anything I can do for you?" He asked with a smirk. "Or...to you?" She returned the mischevious look as well.

"There might be something..."

"Reeally?"

"Mmmm hmmmm." He moved in close to her.

"My room?"

"Nope." He questioned her with his eyes. Her tone was light and carefree as she answered by shoving him back onto the descending staircase of the basement. She moved in as well, shutting the door behind her and locking it. "We never would've made it." She whispered back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 14**

She had tried to roll away from him in the middle of the night. She hadn't known it...she was sleeping, but she had tried non the less. Angel wouldn't let her. He moved and held her in his arms. She hadn't tried again that night. It worried him though. Something was coming. Something big. He didn't know what tricks Jason had up his perfect, tailored sleeves. And he had no idea if Cordelia knew or not. If she didn't, deep down her mind picked up on what Angel's senses did. She knew something was headed for them. Ready to split up the little they had finally gotten. He ran his hand down her spirit, to the side, and over her hip. Moving down, he placed a soft kiss where the bone was. She shifted and looked down through heavy eyelids. He skipped back up, smiled, and held her to him. They both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

***

They finally woke up and Cordelia rushed to get ready. She put on a nice, red dress that had thin spaghetti straps. Looking into the mirror, she saw the straps falling down. She leaned back into his embrace as the dress fell to the floor.

"It's gonna wrinkle." She moaned.

"So pick it up." He said, knowing damn well she wouldn't move away from his skilled hands. His fingers carressed softly down her abdomen, playing with the elastic of her panties.

"Why is it you always get like this right before I leave with Jason?"

"I get like this everytime I'm around you, Love."

"But especially when Jason's on his way." She pressed, turning to him. She played with the collar of his shirt.

"Because it reminds me who's bed you're coming home to."

"Angel. You know how I feel about you. I'm just not ready to admit it. It's too dangerous right now."

"I know. But sometimes I need to know that you know. Did that make sense?"

"Just enough." She said, pulling the dress back up. "Now, I have to go. I can't miss the filming days Angel. You know that."

"I know." He kissed her, pulling a strap back onto her shoulder. "Kick ass out there."

"I always do." She blew him a kiss and left.

***

"Miss Chase. Miss Chase." Cordelia turned to the petite blonde. "Miss Chase. Jason, I mean, Mr. Marlaney wanted me to give you a message." The woman had made Cordelia very nervous the first time she met her. She reminded her of Buffy. At first it made her feel like she would always be in the slayer's corner. But this girl was beneath her. And, she had Angel now. Had him wanting her. That said something. So did the fact that this woman just refered to _her_ boyfriend by his first name and she didn't care.

"Really? What would that be?"

"He wanted you to meet him at this restaurant. i wrote it down...here!" She handed her the piece of notebook paper. "He said to meet him there at six."

"All right Jenny. Thanks." Cordelia walked away from the Buffy-look-alike and over to where they were shooting. She saw Jason, but her was busy talking to the director. She wanted to get this day over with. Someone came over to her and told her what they would be doing toda and she nodded. "I know," Cordelia said with a yawn. "I read my lines." She was exhausted. The only thing that was on her mind was sinking into a warm bubble bath and laying down with a certain vampire who would remain nameless.

***

The rest of the day came and went, six PM finally rolling around. She went to the restaurant and sat down, surprised when he showed up.

"You're not late."

"You sound upset."

"No. Shocked. You're _always_ late."

"Well, I wanted to start tonight off right. Order anything you want. I want tonight to be perfect." She eyed him suspiciously.

"Why? What's so special about tonight."

"Like you don't know. Bet you thought I'd forget, huh? I didn't Cordy. I could never forget our six month anniversary." She glared at him.

"Really? Then I guess you'd know it was two weeks ago."

"I know. But don't get mad. I couldn't celebrate it then. I didn't have the money to get you my gift."

"Like the one you sent me last week?"

"No." He walked around and kneeled down in front of her. She had a look of panic on her face. _No way. There is no way he's doing this._ "I just didn't have enough money for this." He opened a small box and showed her the diamond solitare. "Cordelia? Will you marry me?" She looked at him, eyes wide, mouth opne.

"I, I don't know what to say." She really didn't. Not a single word was forming in her mind. He looked at her, a huge smile on her face. Her mind was drawing a blank.

"You don't have to say anything baby. That look on your face says it all." He kissed her, then hugged her tightly. She just sat there, a thought finally returning to her. _Oh shit. What am I going to do about this one?_

***

Cordelia walked into Angel's room. He was sitting down in the dark, his lamp on. He closed the book and looked up. She sat down at his table. With a concerned look, he moved towards her. Pulling a chair next to her, he sat down.

"What's wrong?" She didn't answer him. Just sat there, head down. "Cordelia? What's wrong?" She looked at him, a terrified and sorry look in her eyes. "Cordy-" She buried her head in her right arm, which was on the table, and showed him the ring on her left hand. He froze, grabbing her hnd and staring at the ring. "Tell me this isn't what I think it is."

"I'm sorry. I know. I wasn't exactly expecting it Angel, then...bam!"

"What did you say?" She turned her head away from him. "Cordelia. What did you tell him?"

"You think I could form a thought Angel? I mean, honestly! My mind blew a blank!"

"You didn't say anything?"

"No!"

"So what happened?"

"Well, he took my look of shock as an automatic yes and thinks I said yes!"

"Cordy!"

"Angel I'm sorry! It just happened! I don't know!" There was a long silence as the two took in the situation.

"I guess you have a choice to make, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean Cordy. What we had was fine before, but now! Cordy, you were proposed to." She wouldn't look at him. He grabbed her and and locked his lips around her finger, sliding the ring off. He placed it on the table, opposite of where he was. "You have to make a choice now Cordy. Him or me. And you need to be sure. Damn sure." He got up and walked over to his bed, laying down and re-opening his book. She looked at him, then back at the ring. She smiled and got up, walking over to Angel. She moved on top of him and kissed him. He looked up at her. "You sure? This could mean the end of your career Cordy. I don't want you to lose that unless...unless you really feel for me the way I feel for you."

"Angel. I don't need fame. I have you. I _love_ you." He ran a hand through her hair, then cupped her face. She put a hand over his.

"That's all I needed to hear Cordy."

***

Cordelia layed down, Angel's arm wrapped around her. She kept her head on his chest. She traced a finger over his chest softly. He stirred, moving towards her touch and she smiled. It wasn't a hard decision. She didn't know why it took her so long to realize how much he meant to her.

She watched him sleep. The soft twist of his lips that was almost a smile, but not quite. His hair falling every which way on his head, all soft and fluffy. He was everything she wanted. And it wasn't scary anymore, well, not as much. But not like it was before.

She was scared now. But not of Angel being unfamiliar. She was afraid of what could happen. She put her heart on the line. And for a while, she was afraid that he would hurt her.

Cordelia stared at the sleeping face of her lover. He really did look like and Angel. And she knew, if not before then she knew now, that Angel wouldn't hurt her. And even with everything going on, they could make their relationship work.

"Relationship. Hmmm. I like the sound of that." She said to herself.

"Me too." She looked at Angel, eyebrow raised.

"You were supposed to be asleep."

"I was. You woke me up."

"Uh-huh." She buried herself into him and they both fell asleep. The last thought to enter Cordelia's mind was, _How am I going to do this with Jason?_ It didn't matter though. She could worry about that tomorrow.

**Part 15**

Cordelia wanted to go home and soak in a nice, hot bath with lots and lots of bubbles and sleep pff the long day on the set that had caused her nothing but a headache. One that got bigger when she stepped in her unlocked apartment and heard a lound "Surprise!" from everyone in the room.

Co-stars, set directors, wardrobe, make-up, camera guys, they were all in her home. She knew about half, and got along with about a fourth. All here to butter up Jason, she assumed.

"What are you all doing in my house?" She asked in feign happiness. One of the lower cast members, Melanie, who was the ultimate in stuck ups came up to her. At first the young woman seemed nice, friendship material, but Cordelia could quickly tell what a fake she was.

"Jason told us that you two were engaged." She said with a big, cheesy smile, exposing her abnormally white teeth. When you're sleeping with the producer, you got to look good, right? "So, anyway, we all thought we should throw you a party. Congratulations Cordelia!" Cordy smiled, looked around and frowned.

"Where _is_ Jason?" Melanie shrugged.

"Dunno."

"I'll be right back Malanie." She walked into her bedroom and shut the door. Digging through her purse, she found her cell phone, flipped it open and dialed the number that was permanently engraved in her mind.

"Hello?"

"Were you asleep?"

"No. Just got done training with Conner. Kid's getting too good. What's going on?"

"I need you to get down here as soon as you can. All of you. Bring the whole gang., okay?"

"But-"

"Angel, baby, please just do it. No questions right now. I just need you guys here right now."

"We'll be there in a few minutes, all right?"

"Okay. Thank you. Bye." She hung up, took a deep breath and plasted on a fake smile, ready to face the heard of sheep outside. At least if Jason was here, he could entertain him. She shook her head in disgust. The way everyone hung around him when he talked, hanging on each syllable without ever listening completely, she didn't know why she ever wanted that.

She heard the familiar knock and nearly charged the door. Behind it, Conner and Angel stood, with Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Faith. She smiled at them and addressed them in. Everyone's attention turned to them. The one Cordelia noticed quickly was Melanie's. The way her eyes raked over Angel's body made her blood boil.

"Yo Barbie, what's the issue?" She turned to the group, frowning at Angel.

"They're throwng my an engagement party."

"WHAT!" Everyone turned to Angel nd the wincing Cordelia. He noticed the reaction. "Go back to what you were doing people." He turned back to Cor. "What!" His voice was softer, but the anger and desperation was obvious.

"I don't know! I got here and all these people were here! I didn't want to be alone! I have no friends here. I can't stand any of these people."

"Well," Gunn said, rubbing his hands together. "if this is gonna be a party, it's a good thing we're here because this is..." He moved his hands around, indicating the room. "pretty damn boring."

"Yeah Cordy. It's kinda dead." Fred agreed.

"Come on girl. Let's put some life in this party." He took Fred and walked half way through the room. "You coming English? Junior? Gangsta girl?" Faith gave him the finger then dragged Wesley and Conner with her, giving Angel and Cordelia some alone time.

"Angel. Don't be mad at me."

"Didn't you tell him?"

"I was going to. But it was a long day on the set and-"

"Cordy! the man thinks you want to marry him!"

"But I don't!"

"Then maybe, just maybe, you should tell him that!" She pursed her lips together, eyes blinking as she tried to hold back the tears. She hated him being mad at her, hated him yelling at her. Especially when it was her fault.

"It's not exactly easy Angel. He thinks I want to marry him. We had good times together. I don't just want to go up to him and say, 'Jason, I know we were together for more than half a year and had really great times together, but it isn't working out.' I'm not that mean Angel." She looked at him, eyes pleading for his understanding.

"I know your not. But when are you going to tell him Cor? After the ring's on your finger and you two have been living together for five years?"

"No."

"Well, at this rate, I'm going with yeah."

"Fine! I'll do it!" He sighed and looked at her, shaking his head. "What?"

"Cordelia. I don't want you to break up with him because I'm forcing you. You know that. I want you to do it because you want to be with me."

"I do want to be with you."

"Because you love me..."

"Don't do that. Don't pull that, 'I'm having doubts in this relationship' look. I know that look Angel. And don't do it. Because it breaks my heart because you know, _you know_ Angel" She poked him in the chest the second time she said it, "how I feel about you. And you know I love you." He looked at her.

"I know. Sometimes I need to hear Cor, but other times...other times actions do speak louder than words."

"What kind of actions were you thinking of?" She pressed againt him, whispering in his ear, other hand moving to his belt buckle and undoing it.

"I was thinking some where along the lines of you telling him you two are through."

"Uh-huh. And..." She said, feeling the growing hardness that was making his pants a lot tighter.

"Well, for now, I have another idea." He grabbed her hand and led her down the small hall, away from the crowded living room. Even though everyone was too caught up with their own buisness and the scene the other five AI members were creating in the living room.

He closed the door behind Cordelia, then pushed her against it. She reached up and kissed him, hands fumbling with the zip to his pants. He pushed her skirt up and pulled her panties down. She stepped out of them and he wrapped one leg around her. She pulled away from his mouth, needing oxygen.

"You know Angel, this is officially our first quickie." She said with a smile.

"Guess we better make it memorable, huh?"

"Oh yeah." He brought her other leg around his waist as she pushed his pants and boxers down, releasing him from them. He ran his hand down her legs and stared at the high black pumps she had on.

"These are the sexiest shoes I've ever seen."

"I thought you hated them. Every time I wore them you told me to take them off, said they were stripper shoes."

"That's because I didn't want you to know they made me crazy." He whispered into her ear. It didn't matter what he said to her when he spoke like that because it made her body bump up.

"Angel...please..." She begged, feeling his hardness rubbing against her opening.

"Be patient love."

"This is torture." She let out a moan as he rubbed himself against her.

"I've always been known for torture..." But even this was too much for him.

"Ang-" She was cut off when he thrust hard inside her. She wrapped an arm around her, getting leverage from how close she was against the door. She reached for the knob but was unable to lock it as they moved down the wall and fell on to the bed, ruffled sheets and blankets hiding them incase anyone came in. Not that they wouldn't know what they were doing. The thrusting got harder and faster with the minutes that passed, Cordelia meeting every motion.

She held onto him tightly as he moved in and out perfectly. She was built to fit him and they both knew it. They're eyes locked for a second before hers squeezed shut as the pleasure mounted.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear. She gripped him closer to her, ready to tell him the same, but was cut off when his one final thrust sent them both over.

"Love you...too." She murmered, not even sure if Angel could hear her. But he did. He lay there, her legs on either side of him. There were no more words. None were needed now. She ran her fingers threw his short hair as her breathing started to calm. "We should get out there." She said after a couple of minutes passed.

"We really should." He agreed, but neither moved or even made the attempt to move. She cupped his face and kissed him again.

"Well, maybe we could stay in here a little longer." She said as she felt him grow hard inside her again. She let out a soft sigh that made him shiver. He moved his lips to her ear, his voice low and sexy.

"How many times you think I can make you come in ten minutes?"

"Hmmm...I don't know. Maybe we should find out. Put that vampire stamina of yours to use."

"What the fuck is going on in here!" Angel moved off Cordelia, both of them still hidden by the covers as they both stares at the angry man in the door way, a group of people quickly crowding around him.

"Jason."

**Part 16**

"Jason! Oh my God!" Cordelia screamed, pushing her skirt down and throwing the blankets over Angel's exposed form in the process.

"Oh...God." Was the only statement that would come from his mouth.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" His shock was quickly replaced with anger.

"I came to see _you_! You _are_ my fiancee after all! I _am_ the one who threw that party!"

"I didn't expect you to actually show up!"

"I shouldn't have! Lord knows I didn't expect this! I knew you two were spending way too much time together!"

"Well, he _is_ my boss!"

"Yeah, now you're fucking your boss!"

"It isn't like that!"

"You wouldn't even let me touch you." He looked at Angel. "You really must want that bonus, huh?" He was rewarded with a hard slap across the across the face.

"Want to know why I wouldn't sleep with you Jason? I don't know you! You're never around! Even now with this stupid party _you_ threw _me_, you're just barely getting here! I'm always being put in second place, next to your work, or your friends, or whatever else you got going on! I don't put up with that! Cordelia Chase's guys are one-hundred percent devoted to her!"

"Really? And all this time I thought it was because you're a whore."

"Yeah. But not even a whore would screw you." This time she was the one slapped and knocked to the floor. She looked up at him in shock. The group of people in her home all gasped in unison. Angel ran to her side and Jason couldn't their comfortable closeness. Anger rose inn him and he threw a punch at Angel as soon as he stood up, hitting the left side of his jaw hard.

Angel staggered, then looked at the other man and charged. Jason looked like a deer caught in head-lights as Angel grabbed him by the throat and puched him against the wall. Before he could deliver the fatal blow. Gunn Wes, Faith and Conner grabbed him and pulled him away. Jason coughed, the air flowing back into his lungs.

"Let him go." Jason said, still coughing. Angel started to regain his senses.

"I'm not going to fight you Jason."

"Why not? Is the big, brave superhero scared? Afraid to get your ass kicked Angel?"

"Let me go." He growled in a menacing voice fit for Angelus.

"Let him go." Jason called again.

"Jason, you idiot! Do you want to die?" Cordelia screamed as Fred helped her get up and keep her balance. Angel saw the swelling that was already taking place and broke away.

"Oh shit." Conner muttered as Angel's fist met Jason't face, sending him flying into the same wall he his back had just hit. He looked up dazed and surprised at the other man's strength.

"Angel, no!" Cordelia went up to her angry lover, grabbing his cocked back arm.

"What?"

"Don't."

"But he hit you!"

"I know."

"You're taking his side?"

"Angel-"

"No! No fucking way! I, I can't believe you!"

"I just-"

"Don't! You know what? I'm sure you two will be very happy together!"

"I dind't mean it like that!" But he was already out the door, Conner following slowly behind. She looked over at Jason and glared. This had to end now. Blood trickled from his nose and upper lip, but the pain that spread across the right side her face increased, so she felt no sympathy.

"This wasn't going to end well. You knew that, that's why you asked me to marry you."

"I asked you to marry me because I love you."

"You odn't love me Jason. You love yourself too much to care about anyone else. You thought you were going to lose me and you couldn't stand it. So you tried to tie me down to you with a piece of gold and a diamond. But you never had me Jason. And you never will." She handed him his ring.

"You were supposed to be mine."

"I'm not property Jason. And I'm not yours. I didn't want this to hurt you, but I don't think it will. You don't feel. And if you loved me, you wouldn't have hit me. I'm with Angel now."

"Doesn't look like he wants you much."

"Yeah, that's why he broke your face for me, huh?"

"He doesn't have anything I don't."

"He's got class Jason. And he's got me."

"I thought you weren't property."

"I'm not. He doesn't treat me like I am either. Now go."

"You're going to regret this later honey. And you can kiss you're job goodbye."

"I think I can live with that. Now leave. And take your obsessive groupies with you." He left and everyone stared at her. "Yeah. You too. Go!" They left, muttering things about her. But she didn't pay attention, didn't care. These people weren't her friends. She looked at her true friends. "Think I could get a ride back to the hotel with you guys? I kind of need to talk to Angel." She said with a small smile.

"Of course." Fred said happily. "You can ride with Charles and I."

**Part 17**

The ride home was a long and silent one. Everyone's mind was on the Angel versus Cordelia confrontation that was sure to take place. And it was like the whole would paused for a couple minutes when they get to the hotel. Cordelia stood at the staircase, looking up. The next floor seemed to move further away when she got closer.

"Cordelia, just go up there. He already knows you're here."

"No he doesn't. He does? How?"

"I think it was when Conner yelled 'Bye Cordy!' before taking off to his friend's. But yeah, pretty sure that gave it away."

"Fred, sarcasm doesn't suit you."

"Yeah, well, staring at a staircase doesn't suit _you_, so go!" She said, coming behind and giving her a shove up the stairs.

"Okay! I'm going!" She walked up the stairs and down the hall, stopping in front of Angel's room. She went to knock, then pulled away.

_Come on Chase. Get it together. It's just Angel._ She thought to herself and took a deep breath. She raised her hand again, pulling away. _Okay. Calm Down. It's fine. It'll be fine. zHe loves you, he told you so. Angel loves ME! No! COncentrate! He's mad at you. Just go in there and talk to him. Nothing sexual. That's what got you into this mess in the first place._ She raised her hand one more time and was startled when she heard his voice.

"If you're going to come in, do it already." Her shoulders slumped. If she could've knocked, it probably would've helped her confidence a bit. Oh well. She walked in the room, head high.

"Hey." She said with a smile, taking a seat on the bed. Angel was in his chair.

"Hey."

"I guess we kind of need to talk, huh?"

"I guess so."

"You're pretty upset with me, aren't you?"

"No shit."

"Hey, can we watch the pissy tone please? I'm trying to apoligize."

"Maybe you should've thought of that when you stuck up for your boyfriend over there." He said, glaring at her.

"Angel, he's not my boyfriend. You are." Inside, his heart was jumping for joy. But his pride wouldn't let that show. He was still pissed off.

"You defended him over me. Why?"

"Angel, it wasn't like that. I couldn't have you adding another dead body to your list. Probably wouldn't do much for your consciance."

"I could live with it."

"I couldn't. You may not believe it, but I did it for you."

"I-" He was cut off as they heard a loud scream from downstairs. They jumped up from where they were sitting and looked over the upstairs railing. Fred was kneeling by an unconscious heep that was Conner. The rest of the group was behind her. Angel jumped over the railing, rushing to his son as Cordy ran down the steps. "What happened?" Angel demanded.

"I don't know! He just fell down! He's beat up really bad Angel." Fred said, sobbing. She was terrified. She had never seen a human beaten up this bad and alive at the same time.

"Who would do this?" Faith asked, recieving shrugs from Wesley and Gunn. That's when Fred's thoughts finally hit.

"Oh God! Angel? Is he-"

"No. He's still alive. I can hear his heart beat. But it's low. Cordy, get the keys from my jacket pocket. Start the car, I'll meet you out there. The rest of you, meet me at the hospital as soon as you can." He picked up his beaten son and carried him outside to the car. She sped them to the Los Angeles hospital.

***

Now, when Cordelia paced the floor, Angel was right next to her.

"Cordelia, Angel, please stop pacing. You're going to wear the hospital carpet thin." Wes said, rubbing his eyes. Angel's patience was wearing thin. He went up to the counter.

"Excuse me?" No answer. "Excuse me?" Still, nothing. "Hello!" The nurse turned to the dark man with an irriatated look on her face.

"Sir, I can hear you."

"Fine. When am I going to be able to see my son?"

"Sir, I don't know yet. When I know, you will."

"That's not good enough."

"Well, I'm sorry, but that's the way it works."

"Look-"

"No, you look! You'll see your son when you see him!"

"Sweetie, do not take that tone with him! Now, either you let us see Conner or you're going to need a helluva lot of security guys to keep Angel and I and everyone else here from busting through those rooms and seeing him." The nurse behind the counter rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Follow me." She led them through the white halls to a small room. Cordelia gasped when she saw Conner and couldn't enter. He looked so small and vulnerable. Almost as pale as the walls themselves, with endless wires hooked up to his body. His eyes fluttered open and struggled to focu on Angel.

"Dad?"

"I'm right here son."Angel said, kneeling at his right side. Conner groaned.

"What happened?"

"You tell me."

"I can't remember."

"Don't worry about it. Just rest." That's when Conner realized his surroundings.

"Wait a minute. Where am I?"

"Your at the hospital."

"Why?" He glanced around again. "Nah-ah. I want to go home. Dad, take me home. Please?"

"Conner. You can't leave. They have to keep a close eye on you."

"Dad..." He whined.

"Conner..." Angel returned in the same voice. "You have to stay here."

"I hate it here."

"I'm sorry. But you have to." Conner crossed his arms and huffed. After a couple of minutes, he looked at his father, showing his age and fear.

"You're going to stay here with me, right?"

"All night."

"Okay. I'll stay."

"Like you had a choice. Now go back to sleep. You need your rest." Within minutes, Conner was asleep again. Angel notcied his friends around him. "You guys should head home."

"No. WE should stay here with...you." Fred said, yawning.

"Uh-huh. Go home. It's late. You guys need sleep. I don't."

"I'm for it. Anything you need before though?" Gunn asked.

"Yeah. Can you bring my car so I can take him home in the morning. He may want to stay here tonight, but it wouldn't last. Tomorrow, he'll throught guards out of the way to get home."

"All right. We'll see you Angel."

"Bye Angel."

"Good night." The three left and Angel noticed Cordelia wasn't in the room.

"Cordy?" She stared at the young man on the bed. "Cordy, are you okay?

"God Angel, he looks so helpless and weak. He looks...dead." She choked on the word and started to cry. He gathered her in his arms and held her to him as she cried.

"Shhh. He's fine. I swear. I can hear his heartbeat Cordy, he's fine. I would know if something was wrong."

"Angel, he's like a son to me. I almost lost you tonight, now I almost lost him."

"He's fine. And you didn't almost lose me. Couples fight Cordelia. And this is just a little disagreement."

"So we're okay?"

"Yeah. We're fine." He told her and led her in the room. She sat on his lap and he held her, but she still felt as if there was something wrong.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." They sat there, watching Conner's heavy breathing. But it was all right, because _he_ was all right. Cordelia's words sank in. Conner was like her son. He really liked the idea of this little family.

**Part 18**

Angel's eyes opened slowly, taking time to adjust to the bright white lights. He felt extra weight and warmth on him and opened his eyes completely. Cordelia was sitting on his lap, head resting agaisnt his. He smiled and looked over to the bed where Conner was stirring. His face was severly bruised, he almost didn't look like himself. But he was alive and would be all right in a couple of days. Conner's eyes finally opened and he scanned the room looking for Angel. His voice was rough when he spoke.

"Can we leave now?" Angel rolled his eyes and shifted, moving Cordelia off him but not waking her up.

"You just woke up."

"So?"

"So...we have to talk to the doctor's first, find out if they can release you."

"Don't they have that thing where you can check yourself out?"

"Your not eighteen yet. I'm your father, and I could check you out. And I will, if the doctor's say it's all right."

"Fine." There was a silence.

"Conner? What happened?" Conner looked at his father. In that one look, Angel knew Conner remembered.

"Can we not talk about it right now?"

"I guess. But you're going to have to tell me soon." A nurse walked in, a big smile on her face. It was obvious she wasn't the one who had to deal with Angel and Cordelia last night, otherwise she wouldn't be so happy.

"Good morning! How are we feeling today?" She said, voice high pitched and happy. Angel winced.

"Like hell." Conner groaned. The nurse gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry. These should help you though." She handed him a small cup with three different pills and a glass of water. Conner looked at them.

"What are those?" Angel asked.

"Just some pain relievers Sir." Conner took them, grimacing at the bitter taste.

"Can I leave now?" Angel shushed Conner and walked over to the nurse.

"Does he check out?" Once again, she gave that bright smile.

"He's perfectly healthy. Quite outstanding really. A normal person his size shouldn't be doing so well after such intense injuries. But his vitals are fine. They just want to run another test to be positive and then you can take him home."

"Thank God! I don't think I could stand another hour in here, let alone another day. I'll just get my stuff ready and-" He went to move and cried out in pain.

"Sit, child." Angel said. Conner obeyed, glaring in the ultimate rebellious teenager stlye. "You got beat up Conner. You might not be able to move for a couple days."

"Days! More like weeks! What happened to you sweetie?"

"Yeah, what happened?" Cordelia asked, yawning as she woke up from her uncomfortable sleep. She rolled the kinks out of her neck.

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"I know. You got one more test they have to perform, then we'll take you home, okay?"

"All right. When are they doing the test?"

"Whenever you're ready." The nurse answered.

"I'm ready. I want to go home."

"All right. The doctor will be right with you." She left them and ten minutes later the doctor from the previous night walked in.

"Good morning. How are we doing?"

"I'm still alive."

"I can see. We just want to go through a normal procedure to make sure everything is normal."

"Okay."

"Would you like your parents to step outside?" Cordelia and Angel looked at each other. Parents? They exchanged a small smile.

"Yeah. But I'm warning you, you try anything and, beaten up or not, I'll kick you ass."

"Conner, behave. He's not going to do anything. He's a doctor."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"Calm down." Angel looked at the doctor. "He really hates hospitals. It's nothing personal." The doctor nodded and Angel and Cordelia stepped out.

"What are they doing?" Angel asked her. She shrugged. They waited for about another ten minutes before the doctor walked out.

"He's perfectly fine and ready to go home."

"He's been ready since he got here." The doctor smiled and left. When they entered, Conner was dressed and ready to go.

"All right." Cordy said. "We get it." They walked out the room and down the hall to the front desk. Angel checked Conner out while Cordelia brought the car to the under ground parking lot. They made their way home.

***

Conner layed down in his bed, happy o be home. He didn't mind the extra attention everyone was lavishing on him either. But after a couple of hours, Cordelia and Angel walked in. He groaned, knowing they wanted answers.

"Time for that talk?" Conner asked.

"You know it." And he did. He wasn't getting out of it this time. Angel and Conner exchanged looks, then he turned to Cordy with a pleading glance. She nodded, stood and left. Even though Angel said things were fine between them, she knew different. Things still felt very tense between them ans she had the feeling he was still angry with her. It had only been a day after all and he had only gotten an hour to himself to brood. Maybe he needed some more time to sort things out in his head.

Inside the room, Conner was still giving Angel the "Please don't make me tell you" look.

"Conner…"

"Okay, okay. So, I went to Daniel's as you know. His date stood him up and my girlfriend, you remember Judy right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, she's out of town. So, we were dateless and you can't go to a party without a date."

"Party? What party? You said you were going to Daniel's, not a party."

"Yeah, um, I know. But, we did and we were dateless. Anyway, we got there and him and I had a little too much to drink-"

"Alcohol under the legal age of twenty one, lying to your father…go on." Conner gulped.

"So, we were kind of messed up. And I saw this girl…she was gorgeous Dad. Brown hair, green eyes, leather skirt. Totally hot."

"And…"

"And…I went over to talk to her. You know, work the magic?" Angel hid his smile. "Well, I didn't know she had a boyfriend at the time."

"Conner."

"I know, I know. But she was really, really hot Dad." He tried to reason.

"So you cheat on your girlfriend?"

"No...yeah, but, but…the leather!" Angel glared. "Anyway, I got into an argument with her boyfriend. He hit me, so I _had_ to hit him back. An hour later, I was outside talking to her and he came back. She took off and he had a bunch of other guys with him. I was hit from behind with a crow bar. They started kicking me and hit me with bats and stuff. Lord knows where they got them. Next thing I knew, I blacked out. I woke up, got myself home and passed out again. Next thing I know, I was in the hospital." He looked up at his father with pleading eyes.

"Okay, let's count your crimes." Conner frowned and leaned back in bed as Angel counted his son's actions on his fingers. "Lying to me-one. Going to a party I didn't permit you to attend-two. Drinking-three. Trying to still someone's girlfriend when you have your own-four."

"It's not my fault I have your obsession with leather!"

"Getting in a fight-five. Hmmm…you're grounded for…a month."

"A month!"

"A month!"

"But-"

"Conner, you won't be able to move, or want to, for the next two weeks. So don't complain. Now go to sleep. You're tired, I'm tired-"

"Pah-leese! You so know you're taking Cordy to your room and-"

"Finish that sentence and you die." Conner yawned and Angel walked to the door. "Go to sleep Conner." He left and leaned against the door frame. He really wouldn't mind taking Cordy to his room and…

His thoughts were interrupted when he yawned. He shook his head, walked to his room, and laid down.

Cordelia watched from the bottom steps of the stairs with a frown. Angel really was still mad at her. He didn't even look at her. She sighed. The past couple days had really sucked.

**Part 19**

Angel yawned and stretched when he finally woke up. He moved his arm around, eyes still closed when he realized something was missing. _Someone_ was missing. It felt wrong to be lying there without her. He felt no warmth, flet no skin pressed against his own. It hadn't even been an entire night. In that one night, he realized he could never be away from her again.

Angel hated being dependent on anyone. When he came back from hell and had to be dependent on Buffy, it stripped his of what little manhood he had after having his ass kicked by a slayer. He wished he had stayed dead. But with Cordelia, it felt different. It felt good…right.

He stood up and stretched. He pulled on some pants, a fresh t-shirt, and some shoes. The hotel was dark and a bit chilly. It was refreshing after the scorching day. He heard the sound of soft snoring as he passed by his son's room, then Lorne's. He looked at his watch, twelve AM. He heard voices in the lobby and saw Fred and Wesley discussing the latest case. Faith was amusing herself by going in circles in Wesley's spinning chair. And Gunn was sorting through the weapons, trying to rearrange the damage Cordelia had done to them.

"Guys?"

"Hey Angel." Fred said.

"Hey. What are you guys doing up?"

"We're really close to crackin' this case." Fred said in her Texan accent. "Plus, I really ain't tired. I think it was that coffee we had."

"Starbucks always does the trick." Gunn said. "What are you doin' up Angel?"

"Couldn't go back to sleep. I'm going to patrol."

"No. You're going to go see Cordelia." Faith said knowingly. Angel smiled.

"Keep an eye on Conner for me? He's asleep. If he wakes up in pain or anything, call me." They nodded and he walked outside. There was a soft drizzle and he raised his head as he walked, the water shining on the leather coat. It felt good and his skin tingled as he thought of Cordelia. He felt like a teenager over taken by flaming hormones. He liked it, but he sure couldn't let her know that.

He made his way to her apartment and hopped up the few steps. He knocked on the door.

Inside, Cordelia was watching a sappy movie as she played out her sorrows. It was almost over when she heard the knocking on her door. Her voiced hitched. She didn't even have to open the door to know it was him. She could feel him. The way the air went electric when he came around. She took in a deep breath and stood up. She looked down at herself. Her body was suddenly on fire. She wrapped the robe tighter around her body and opened the door, a smile on her face that she couldn't help.

"Angel?"

"Hey." He said with a smile. She looked his over. His hair shone with drops of cool rain that trickles slowly down his face. She took in a shaky breath and he looked at her.

"What?" She blushed and lowered her head.

"Nothing. You want to come in?"

"In a second. It's nice out here." He grabbed her hand and pulled her out. She was on guard and he could tell, he hurt and confused her. But he could make it up. They stood against the small rail of the small patio, letting the soft rain sprinkle on them. Her robe opened slightly as she uncrossed her arms and let them rest against the rail. He didn't fight the urge to look at her and saw the red teddy that clung to her thighs.

Angel licked his lips and moved behind her. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, giving her time to protest and move away if she wished. She didn't but he felt her stiffen.

"I know you're mad at me Cordy."

"No, you're the one mad at me Angel. Because of Jason." He chuckled softly.

"I'm not mad."

"You sure?"

"Cordy, when I woke up and didn't see you by me…there is nothing that feels worse than that." She smiled softly as his head moved down and he started to lick a soft pattern down her neck. His hands gently slipped the robe off her shoulders and he tossed it inside the open door. He saw the thin material clinging to her body and his fingers twisted in the thin strap at her shoulders.

"Angel." She breathed as she felt his hips press against her backside and the bulge that made her moan. His hands reached around, touching her stomach. They slowly moved down her abdomen along the wet feel of silk. They started to move the material up and she turned around in his arms to reach up and kiss him. He backed up against the outside wall. His hands wandered, one giving her butt a healthy squeeze, the other sliding a strap down her shoulder to expose one breast.

He kneaded it, swallowing the gasp. The hand moved down, then up under the slip to the silky skin there. His fingers brushed against her, smiling to himself when he felt her legs spread for him. She clutched his back as the beginning waves of pleasure started to wash over her. His fingers played with her and she pulled her mouth away from his. Her breath came out in pants and she felt her body start to shake. "Ah..." She was close, so close then,

"Get a room!" A pedestrian driving by screamed out of the passenger's window. Cordelia looked at Angel and the two shared a laugh outside.

"Should we go in?" Giggling, she nodded. They closed the door and he pulled her in, pushing her against the door, kissing her deeply. They moved to the couch and Angel moved on top of her. Her hands quickly undid his pants and she gripped him in her hand. Just the feel of him nearly undid her.

"Are we okay?" She asked him, still not sure. She wanted to believe him, but she had to be positive. He smiled at her sweetly and it made her melt.

"We're better than all right. We're in love Cordelia." She smiled at him, holding him close with one arm, the other guiding him to her. He kissed her again, fingers running through her hair. Her other hand joined the first, legs spreading further, drawing him closer.

Angel entered her and groaned at the heat he never wanted to leave. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. He moved against her, the sound of her panting breaths loud in his ears until he filled her completely. Angel wanted this time to be slow and sweet, to let her know how much she loved him. But he couldn't. She felt too good.

With every thrust, he moved faster and harder. She met him thrust for thrust, bucking, writhing, wiggling beneath him in just the right way. Her muscles clenched tight around him.

"Angel. Don't stop. God, please don't stop." He couldn't even if he wanted to. She moaned his name low in her throat, body convulsing. Her muscles gripped him and he went rigid inside her, tumbling over the edge with a primal growl. She looked up at him and smiled, placing a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too baby." He rested his head down on her chest and she held his head their. He listened to the sound of her heartbeat.

"So, how long can you stay?" She asked, still panting.

"How long you want me to stay?" She smiled mischievously at him. The look alone nearly got him hard again. She was always sexy, but when she gave him that look…

"What time we gotta be at work tomorrow?" He stared at her with a smile. The way his gaze caressed her skin made her tingle with excitement. He made love to her that night as though it was her pleasure that mattered. Not his own. Cordelia had never experienced that before.

That night they lay in the bed, facing each other on their sides. His fingers traced her face. Touching, lingering, feeling the thickness of her lips. Her whole body was alive again just from the simple touch. It was singing, ripples of pleasure running through her. She had opened up to him more that night in a way she had never had before. Deep in her, he touched a nerve. A spring she had never known was there.

There was so much that could go wrong. So many problem that could happen. But it didn't matter. Because they had each other and that was all that mattered. For the first time in her life, Cordelia felt like her whole life and future was in this man's hands. It scared her, but it made her feel a warmth she had never experienced before.

Angel owned her if he wanted to take possession. And for the first time ever…it was okay. 


End file.
